


Bonds are Forever

by Ethmaron



Category: The Underland Chronicles - Suzanne Collins, gregor the overlander - Fandom
Genre: first fic please be kind lmao, fourteen/fifteen?, hazard gets a cousin because he Deserves it, i imagine gregor older here like, i ship gregor with recovery tbh, im awful at tagging stuff whoops, this is being written as i go so idk what its gonna end up like
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-11
Updated: 2019-08-23
Packaged: 2019-10-08 02:37:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 23,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17377994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ethmaron/pseuds/Ethmaron
Summary: It's been years since Gregor and his family moved to Virginia. The rest of his family is managing to move on past the Underworld, so why can't he?~tbh this is a bit of a self indulgent fic,,i just wanna make sure he ends up okay.





	1. Bad Days

**Author's Note:**

> so here's chapter one. i don't know how many chapters there'll be in total, but it might end up being pretty long aha. enjoy

He didn't dislike the farm. He didn't dislike that he had his own room and that his dad was finally seeming to take inching steps towards recovery. He disliked waking up in the middle of the night in a bed with too much space and in a room with too much room. He disliked waking up on the farm because that meant it was just another day he wouldn't be able to go back. Sometimes, he wished. He wished he could’ve stayed because Ripred would surely be able to help with the nightmares. Luxa would help just by being at his side. But they were both miles and miles away, both across the earth and below it, and there weren’t any entries to the Underland here. Didn't stop him from wishing, though.  
~  
“Gregor!”  
With a shriek and a pounce on his chest, Boots was patting his cheek, hands sticky with what smelled like maple syrup. Gregor only accepted this with a laugh, pushing her off gently.  
“I’m up, Boots. What is it?”  
“Lizzie said to come get you.” Boots says, sitting back on his stomach.  
“Go tell her I’ll be down in a minute.”  
With a beaming smile, Boots sets off down the hall, the sound of her thumping footsteps echoing through the house. Laying back, Gregor tries to remember the dream he had been having. It had been one of the good ones. Where he and Luxa had been together again. More often than sometimes, it was one of the bad ones though. Shaking his head to rid himself of the unpleasant memories, Gregor gets up and dresses in his unofficial uniform, which consists of a long sleeve shirt and jeans, even if it was the middle of the summer. Not his choice. But if he wants to avoid the questions and curious looks, long sleeves had to be worn. The salve the doctors had given him had eventually run out, so the scars stuck. Sometimes he could get away with wearing short sleeves around the house, but he saw how his mom looked at his arms. He knew she hated the ones from the giant squid the most. He knew she hated that he had scars at all, but it had really all been his choice in the end. To go back. To protect the Underland. To protect Luxa. Though she definitely didn't really need the protection.  
Reaching into his pocket, he finds the picture he keeps on himself at all times, unfolding it carefully, the joints soft after one too many foldings. A younger version of himself looks back up at him, next to Luxa. Even though neither one of them is smiling in the picture, he can still remember her smile. Folding it back up, he walks downstairs to join Boots and Lizzie at the table, where Boots is tucking into her pancakes, while Lizzie only pokes at them occasionally. As soon as she spots Gregor, she perks up, smiling.  
“Gregor!”  
“Hey, Lizzie. What’s up?”  
“I finished that book you got me. Do you think um… if you get a chance…”  
He smiles tiredly, ruffling her hair.  
“Yeah. I gotta go out anyway. I’ll try to find something.”  
“Thank you.”  
He’s already pulling on his jacket, shoving his feet into the shoes waiting by the door.  
“Wait--” Lizzie starts.  
“Gregor!” Boots shrieks as she jumps down from her chair, running to wrap her arms tightly around his leg.  
“What?”  
“You have to eat! It’s important!”  
“I’m not hungry, Boots. I’ll eat when I get back, okay?”  
“But-!”  
“Boots,” Lizzie says quietly.  
Boots releases his leg, going back to her pancakes sullenly, and Gregor can't seem to muster up more than a little bit of guilt. It was going to be one of those days.  
“I’m going.”  
The door slams behind him. 

~

It was cold outside, but not cold enough that the walk to the bookstore was miserable. His hands are growing warm in his pockets, and he’s dimly aware that the slick heat feels like blood. Gregor swears quietly as he wipes his hands on his jeans, refusing to think of all the actual, very real blood that had stained his hands years before. That still did, even if no one but him could see it. 

Pushing the door open to the bookstore, the bell jingles, and Gregor isn't sure if he should scream or not, because that’s Hazard standing behind the counter.   
“Can I help you?”  
Gregor blinks, swallowing hard, shaking his head. “No. Sorry.”   
No, because that wasn't Hazard. His skin was too dark, eyes not nearly as vibrant. Gregor heads to the back of the stacks, to the discounted books, shifting through halfheartedly to try and find a puzzle book for Lizzie. Finally finding a crossword book, he tucks it under his arm and starts to wander through the stacks. It was always quiet here. On bad days, he needed the quiet. 

~

“...Gregor!”   
Jolting from his thoughts, he looks up at his teacher, heat burning his face.  
“What?”  
“I asked for the answer to the question.”  
He looks up at the board hesitantly, knowing he won't be able to solve it. That would’ve required him to pay attention for the past three lessons. The numbers and variables on the board make no sense to him, so, with increasing embarrassment, he looks at a point past his teacher's shoulder, and whispers his reply.   
“I can’t.”  
A disappointed look is the only thing he sees before his gaze is back to the grainy wooden top of the desk, where various things have been drawn by other kids over the years. He wonders if they ever clean them. Probably not. He normally wasn't one to write on the desks--he mostly kept his head down--but regardless, he finds himself picking up his pencil, and carefully scratching the word ‘Ares’ on the desktop. Ares. His beloved bond, who was killed by the Bane. His fault. It was his fault Ares was dead, and he would never come back. With a swipe of his thumb the name is reduced to a smudge on the tabletop, and then he tries, really tries to pay attention, but he can’t. He raises his hand to which the teacher sighs, nodding to him.   
“Yes?”  
“Can I go to the bathroom?”  
“Yes.”  
Jumping up, he grabs his backpack strap, running from the room, into the hallway. It’s cooler out here, and he takes a moment to lean against the cool tiled walls before continuing to the bathroom. Luckily, it’s empty. The claw marks across his chest are throbbing even though they’re years old at this point. His bag drops to the ground before he’s digging through it, soon finding what he’s looking for. A pen follows the notebook, and he cracks it open to the next fresh page, flipping through the countless pages filled with the Code of Claw. He had had Lizzie help keep him in practice for a while, until she wouldn't do it anymore. So he continued, keeping a journal of his days since the Underworld. If anyone else were to read it, it would be unintelligible; meaningless scribbles in a notebook. But to Gregor, it was everything.


	2. Nightmares and Recovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gregor hates school and everything it represents tbh,,his parents start to try and help him, he makes a friend(?)

Ben wasn't a friend. He had decided to stick himself onto Gregor, and no matter what he did, he wouldn't go away. He had first shown up when Gregor had to reveal his scars in the changing room, when, after a couple months of forged doctor notes, the teachers told him he had to start participating, and he wasn't allowed to change in the bathroom stalls. The first time he took his shirt off, there were immediate whispers. He didn't blame them. They were horrific. He would whisper if they were on someone else. When he walked out in shorts and a t-shirt (for the first time in--he couldn't even remember), the girls stepped away and the teacher stepped forwards, hurried words already spilling from their lips.  
“Gregor, what happened? How old are these scars? Does your counselor--”  
“I'm fine. They’re old.” Was the only response he gave. Along with a second thought of: “They’re from a car accident.”  
They backed off after that. Except for Ben. Who had come charging towards Gregor once they were told to pick partners, slinging an arm around his shoulders like they were old friends.  
“How the fuck did you get those nasty scars?”  
Gregor was, to be honest, completely mortified. He knew they were there, and people had asked if they ever saw in a hushed terrified whisper, but never in the manner Ben had. All straight to the point and disbelieving.  
“A car accident.”  
And even though Gregor had said that, he still thought Ben didn't quite believe him. 

“Dude, why’d you leave math so early?”  
Gregor narrowly misses getting hit in the chest with the ball, and shoves it back towards Ben.  
“I had to go to the bathroom.”  
With a scoff, Ben catches the ball, pressing it against his side with his arm. “For thirty minutes? I don't think so. There's like, two things I can think of that would take a dude that long, and you didn't have the desperation of either when you ran out.”  
Gregor feels his cheeks burn as he tugs at the hem of his t-shirt, wishing just for a moment he could smother the other boy. “You are a complete--”  
Gregor manages to cut himself off before he says anything he truly regrets, which is just as well, as Mr. Wilson chooses that moment to walk over.  
“Why aren’t you boys practicing?”  
Ben smiles at him, bouncing the ball once before holding it again. “No worries, Mr. W. Just taking a short break. Gregor was telling me about all his woes.”  
Mr. Wilson looks to Gregor, who has a forced smile on his face. His eyes involuntarily drift to the scars that cover the boy, and he shudders inwardly. Car accident. It must’ve been a terrible wreck.  
“Alright. Don't take too long a break though. We’ll split up into teams in a class or two.”  
“Sounds good, Mr. W!” Ben chirps, tossing the ball to Gregor. 

As soon as he’s gone, Ben rolls his eyes and yawns.  
“God. That guy is crazy. Anyway. Where’d you really go?”  
He’s starting to get irritated, because even though he’s not lying, he knows Ben won't believe him. “Like I said. The bathroom. I was...writing.”  
Which isn't a lie. He had been fervently scribbling out paragraphs and paragraphs in the Code of Claw, not English, but that was a little detail.  
“What’re you writing? Poetry? Diary?”  
With a frown, Gregor holds the ball, glaring at Ben.  
“Don't be a dick. It was nothing.”  
Ben waves his hand dismissively, smiling. “Whatever. It’s that notebook though, yeah?”  
Gregor’s stomach plummets, and his face must show something, because Ben is backpedaling, the same smile still on his face.  
“Chill, dude. I didn't go through it or anything. And I’m not like, spying. I see you at lunch sometimes is all. You’re always writing something down in a notebook.”  
Relief has never felt so good.  
“Oh. Yeah. Whatever. How much longer is class?”  
Ben glances at the clock, pausing a moment. “Ten minutes. So, five until we can go change and stuff. Shit. I’m so done with basketball. Give it here. I’ll go tell Mr. W you don't feel good or something and you need me to take you to the nurse.”  
“I feel fine.”  
Plus he liked being able to wear shorts and t-shirts again.  
“No, you don't. You feel awful, like you’re gonna die. Let’s go.”

~

He’s falling. Plummeting through a darkness that rips at his clothes and tears his breath from his lungs. Where is he? Falling to the Underland, or falling within the Underland?  
It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter, he thinks. Because Ares is dead and he won't catch me and I’ll die just like Henry. Ares is dead. And it’s all my fault.  
Crashing into something soft pushes any and all air left in his lungs out. He fights to stay conscious, because this feels like a bats fur, and that means maybe it’s--  
“Gregor. Don't pass out. You wouldn't want to fall from Aurora’s back, would you?”  
Aurora. Which meant…  
Luxa’s face comes into view over his own, a smile playing on her lips. “I might not be able to hold onto you.”  
Gregor manages to sit up and hold onto Aurora properly, taking in Luxa. She hasn't changed at all. Until her eyes blow wide and she gasps for air as purple bumps erupt across her skin. She stares at them for a moment, seeming almost confused. “Gregor?”  
He reaches out to grab her, but she tips back and tumbles over the edge of Aurora’s back. Gregor isn't sure if the screaming is coming from him or Luxa. He tugs on the bat's fur, trying to make her go after Luxa. Because he can't lose her. He can't.  
“Aurora! What are you doing?”  
The bat twists her head back slightly, revealing ghostly white eyes. “I’m taking you to Regalia.”  
“No, you can't--Luxa--”  
“It’s fine, Overlander. She will be fine.”  
He risks a look over, and sees Luxa on a rock outcropping. She’s fine. Except for the broken bumps that leak blood and pus. Except for the way her chest isn't moving. 

~

“Gregor!”  
With a choking gasp, he sits up in bed, a hand going to cover his mouth. Swinging his legs out of the bed he runs to the bathroom where he manages to make it to the toilet before he throws up. He’s not even sure who woke him up.  
“Gregor, honey, what’s wrong?”  
His mom, then. He looks up to her, ready to make up an excuse so she won't be worried, but he remembers Luxa’s broken body and he vomits again. A cool hand on his forehead pushes his sweaty bangs back, while another starts to rub gentle circles on his back.  
“Did you have a nightmare?” His mom asks, as soon as he’s managed to stop throwing up.  
He considers lying. He doesn't want her to worry. But he doesn't know what he had been doing to get his mom in his room in the first place, so he figures he better not.  
“Yeah.”  
“I figured. You were screaming. Nearly scared your dad half to death.”  
Which meant Lizzie and Boots and his uncle probably heard too. Great.  
“I’m fine.”  
“Gregor, me and your dad have been talking and…” She looks away from him, to a framed picture of a beach on the wall. “We want to get you some help.”  
“What?”  
She looks embarrassed, like this wasn't how she planned it to come out. “We want to try sending you to a therapist. Your uncle recommended someone--Gregor, wait.”  
He looked down at her from where he had stood up, his hands shaking. “It’s been years since I was last there. Years. And now you want to try and get me help?”  
He can't stop the shaky laugh that bubbles up, because honestly. “Even if you could find someone, they would think I'm crazy. Completely insane. No one would believe me if I started spouting off stories about the Underland.”  
“Gregor, no--we just thought maybe it would be good for you to try to--”  
“No.”  
He pushes the bathroom door open, running to his room to shove his feet into his shoes before he grabs a sweatshirt and runs out the door. He pauses for only a moment to put the sweatshirt on before he’s running. He doesn't have a destination in mind; he doesn't care for how long he has to run. He just wants to get away from the house that brings him his nightmares and the idea that someone like him could get better. He was a murderer. If he told people about what he’d done, he would be in jail for the rest of his life.  
He stumbles and goes down, his knee skidding across the pavement, stripping away the skin. The sharp smell of blood isn't unfamiliar to him in the slightest, and he’s had worse injuries than this before, but he starts crying anyway. His knee starts to throb as the blood drips down his shin, and in a way, the pain feels good, because this at least gives him a reason to cry. He doesn't stop until footsteps approach him, and he looks up to see the boy he had thought was Hazard approach him. Then he takes a moment to actually look and see where he is. He’s in town. He fell in front of the bookstore, where the boy was now looking at him uncomfortably.  
“Um. Are you okay?”  
The wrongness of the question at this point in time sends Gregor into a fit of laughter, but the boy steps forwards instead of away.  
“Your knee looks really bad. My mom’s got a first aid kit upstairs. How about you come in or something? I can try to help clean it up.”  
Gregor nods, forcing himself to stand up, limping forwards to the boy.  
“My names Elias. Call me Eli though. I see you come in a lot.”  
Gregor gives a noncommittal shrug, following Eli into the bookstore. He sits down in the chair he's motioned towards, while Eli thumps up the stairs to get the first aid kit. A lighter pair of footsteps follows his, and an older looking woman comes down, Eli in tow. She looks exactly like him.  
“Hello, there.” She says in greeting. “I’m Mrs. White. Let’s see about getting you fixed up.”  
She flicks some of the lights on, and Gregor almost wishes she hadn't, because she chokes on her inhale of breath when she sees his bare legs. Eli only stares, a quiet ‘shit’ his reaction.  
“A-alright, let’s um…” She turns to Eli and whispers something, going back upstairs, looking slightly sick.  
Eli shifts uncomfortably, before going and kneeling down in front of Gregor. “What the hell are these from?”  
“You wouldn't believe me if I told you.” He replies blandly.  
Eli purses his lips, grabbing a disinfectant wipe from the box. “Try me.”  
Gregor hisses at the sting of the wipe, but Eli is still looking at him expectantly.  
“Big ones on my legs are from giant ants. Smaller ones are from giant rats.”  
Eli doesn't say anything but continues cleaning Gregor’s knee.  
“See? You don't believe me.”  
Eli shrugs, smoothing the bandage over the scrape. “I never said that. I had an aunt who up and disappeared like--seven years ago or something--while she was visiting New York. Never came back, never found a body; if she was dead. Just...gone. Messed my mom up pretty bad. I mean, imagine losing your sister like that.”  
New York. And the resemblance to Hazard…  
“Eli, you’re definitely not going to believe me, but I think I may know what happened to your aunt. And if I’m right, you’ve got a cousin.”  
Eli’s face pales, and he stands up, backing away slightly. “You’re lying.”  
“Why would I lie about this?” Gregor snaps, “I have plenty of proof.”  
Eli swallows, and grabs another chair, before pulling it up next to Gregor. “Fine. Tell me what you think happened, and I’ll choose whether or not I believe you when you finish.”  
So Gregor takes a breath and starts talking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhh hope yall liked it, got a sudden inspiration burst and ground it all out, anyway, starting to actually get to the story bit


	3. Problems and more problems

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gregors uncle makes a stand, gregor bleeds a bit more, and ben's there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here we go folks, chapter 3!

If Eli didn't think Gregor was crazy to begin with, he definitely thought so now.  
“Not to be rude, but what the hell’s wrong with you?”  
Gregor doesn't reply, instead sits back in his chair, knotting his fingers together.  
“You’re telling me--you’re telling me, that I might have a cousin hundreds of feet underneath our feet, and that he’s not even human?”  
“He’s a half-lander.” Gregor interjects. “He’s a human.”  
“Sorry if I don't exactly believe that when you tell me that there are giant rats and various other things that sound like a nightmare down there.”  
“It is a nightmare,” Gregor says tightly, “But he’s in a good place. With good people.”  
“Right. You mentioned this...Luxa?”  
“Yeah. The queen. A-actually--” Gregor digs in his pocket for a moment, before pulling out the creased photo. “This is her.”  
Eli takes the picture, not missing how Gregor seemed to hold onto it a moment longer than needed. The picture isn't much to look at. A younger boy who Eli assumes is Gregor has a shattered smile on his face, a mirror to the girl who stands next to him. Her eyes are as purple as the veins that show through her white skin, and Eli can't help but be a bit put off. She didn't look human.  
He hands it back to Gregor who smooths it out slightly, looking down at it before tucking it away.  
“Your girlfriend, then?” Eli asks.  
“No.”  
The response is quick enough that he doesn't press the matter.  
“Anyway. Is there a way I can meet the kid?”  
“Hazard? The only entrances are in New York, I think. So, probably not.”  
“I could get there. You could be my guide.”  
Gregor has to strangle down the yes that wants to come out in order to stumble out a no.  
“Why?” Eli questions, cocking an eyebrow.  
“I don't know if I’d be able to come back.”  
That realization startles Gregor more than he cares to admit, and he’s gotten to his feet before he registers that he’s moving. “I have to go.”  
“Wait!”  
Eli’s grip on his arm is tight and Gregor wrenches away before his fingers start to feel too much like vines.  
“I’m gonna need to talk to you again. How am I supposed to contact me? What’s your phone number?”  
“I don't have a phone,” Gregor replies blandly.  
“Are you fucking with me? You’re in high school, right?”  
“So, what? I need to go. I’ll come back another day.”  
Ignoring Eli’s protests, Gregor darts out the door, the sting in his knee an almost pleasant distraction from everything that was going through his head. He didn't want to think about going back. Back to where everything and nothing made sense. Back to Luxa. And what if Hazard really was Eli’s cousin? That meant Hazard had more family that he didn't even know about. And Gregor was the only one who knew enough to be able to tell him that. But he couldn't go back. Because he wouldn't be able to leave again. He would be able to wear clothes he wanted to wear without fear of questions, and he would be able to see everyone again. He could finally visit Ares’ grave. At the thought of Ares, Gregor's heart gives a painful twinge so he tucks the Underland and any related thoughts to the back of his head. Right now, he just needs to get home. 

Gregor lays in his bed, one hand on the scars that marred his chest, the other holding the photo of him and Luxa. His mom hadn't been happy. Even less so when Gregor had brushed off her attempts to discipline him, choosing instead to go straight to bed. He would deal with the consequences tomorrow. Right now he just needed time to think. Time to think about the possibility of going back. Going back to Regalia seems like a dream. A nightmare. He can't decide which one. The only thing that seems good right now is sleep, so he tugs his blankets up over his chest and tries to fall asleep. 

The next morning, Gregor’s still trying to fall asleep. Tapping at his door makes him sit up and tug on a t-shirt.  
“Come in.” He calls softly.  
Boots comes running in, jumping up on his bed with a grin. Grabbing his wrist, she starts to tug him along. He lets himself get pulled up from the bed but stops once he's standing.  
“Where are we going, Boots?”  
“Mom’s gonna take us to the city!”  
He lets her pull him along until they stop in the kitchen. Their mom is sitting at the kitchen table with their dad and uncle, a steaming cup of coffee clutched between her hands.  
She looks up when they walk in, and a tired smile graces her features. “You’re up.”  
Gregor stares at her for a moment, before shifting on his feet slightly. “I never made it back to sleep.”  
Boots releases his hand, running to the fridge and grabbing the carton of milk from the door.  
“Gregor!” She whines. “Can you get the cereal down?”  
Gregor walks to the cabinet, dodging the hand his dad puts out. He doesn't look at his face. He doesn't want to see the hurt look he knows will be there. So he grabs the cereal and pours it into a bowl for Boots, accepting the milk she hands him to add to the mixture. She carries her bowl to the table to sit next to their mom, while Gregor gets a glass of water before joining them.  
“So, Boots says we’re going into the city.”  
His mom nods hesitantly. “We have an appointment for you to go--Gregor!”  
He swears quietly at the water now spilled across the table and gets up to grab a towel.  
He hears a chair screech back, and when he turns back around, his mom is standing, frowning at him. “You’re going. You can't say you’re not going, just because you don't want to.”  
He bites back the words that bubble up because Boots is right there and she doesn't need to hear this.  
“Grace…”  
His mom turns to his dad, her mouth open to protest. The opposition comes from the least likely corner.  
“Grace. The boy’s fifteen. Let him choose. I don't pretend to understand all that you guys went through, but…” His uncle takes a sip from his own coffee mug, before setting it down. “I know plenty about not wanting this kind of help. Gregor’s a strong kid. He’ll figure it out himself. If he wants to go or not. Isn't that right, Gregor?”  
Gregor stares at him for a stunned moment, before nodding and starting to sop up the mess on the table.  
His mom stalks to the counter and slams her mug down, slopping coffee over the rim. She looks to be on the verge of tears, but starts up the stairs; a concerned Boots on her heels. Wordlessly, Gregor’s dad gets up and cleans up Boots dishes, before following his wife from the kitchen. When it’s only Gregor and his uncle left, he sits back at the table, taking the photo of him and Luxa out from his pocket. He lays it flat on the table, smoothing out the edges.  
“You miss her.”  
It’s not a question.  
Gregor swallows hard, nodding as he looks at the picture. And he suddenly feels the hot prick of tears behind his eyes, because he’s so tired. That no one talks about what happened. That they try to make everything that happened disappear. Except for when it’s Gregor because his skin is the only thing that anchors them into the Underland. Without them, they could be a normal family.  
“Can you really not visit her again?”  
Gregor looks up to his uncle, who’s rubbing at his chin, giving Gregor a hard look.  
“The entrance is in New York, right? You could get there and stay a night or something, right?”  
Gregor hesitates, before settling on a shrug.  
“I don't think I would be able to come back.”  
“Why?”  
“It...It was hard enough to leave the first time. I don't think I could do it a second. I don't have a place there. How...What all did my parents tell you?”  
“The basics. You went on various quests for Reglias--”  
“Regalia.”  
His uncle gives him a curious look, before nodding. “Regalia. You went on various quests for Regalia. To save the people and whatnot. That you got hurt badly along the way, and not all of your friends made it.”  
Ares. Hamnet. Frill. Tick. Twitchtip. And too many more.  
He nods, picking at his nail. “That’s about the tamest version I’ve ever heard. But yeah.”  
“Do you want to talk about it? I don't mind listening.”  
Gregor considers for a moment, before shaking his head. “No. Not now, at least. There's something I need to do. Someone I need to go talk to.”  
“Alright. Be careful, Gregor.”  
“I will.”

“Gregor!”  
He jerks his head up in time to get a faceful of basketball. His nose screams in pain, and he reaches up to find blood gushing from it.  
Ben comes rushing over along with Mr. Wilson in tow.  
“Shit, man! Pay attention!”  
Mr. Wilson frowns at Ben’s language but tells him to take Gregor to the nurse. Ben doesn't protest. Grabbing Gregor’s sleeve, he drags him out to the hall, before grabbing a wad of paper towels from the bathroom. He shoves them into Gregor’s face, not waiting to see if he holds them in place.  
“Dude, you’ve been completely out of it this week. What’s up with you?”  
Gregor shrugs, returning Ben’s curious stare steadily.  
“I’m fine.”  
“Okay, but didn't that hurt? You got smashed in the face by a basketball. And it wasn't exactly a dainty throw. Because, not to toot my own horn, I’ve got a good pass. Or whatever.”  
Gregor shrugs once more, adjusting the wad of paper towels. “Let’s just go to the nurse. I’ve had worse injuries than this before.”  
So they start walking, but Ben is quiet. Which is odd. He’s silent all the way to the nurse, slumping down in a waiting chair while the nurse checked Gregor’s nose.  
“You’re all good!” She eventually decrees. “Just keep the tissues on it, and wait for it to stop.”  
Gregor nods, and Ben jumps up to follow him out. He turns at the last minute to give a loose salute to the nurse, grinning.  
“Bye, Ms. Martin!”  
She laughs, and waves, turning back to her work once they’re gone. 

When they get back to the gym, Mr. Wilson instructs Gregor to sit out and watch, which is just as well, because he doesn't think he would be able to focus. He’s started thinking about the Underland again. More specifically--Hazard. If Gregor couldn't go down, maybe Hazard could come up. He would be about eleven at this point...right? But that’s really young still. A small part of his mind whispers that Gregor was that old when everything started, but he ignores it. He would just need to get a note down. They had scouts, right? He should be able to get something down there and to Hazard without much issue. He squeezes his eyes shut, and rubs at his eyes, trying to fight against the oncoming headache. He would need to get to Eli this week. Otherwise, he worried about what he might try to run off and do. The bell ringing jars his thoughts, and he stands up, joining the stream of kids headed for the changing room. He would figure this out later after he’d had some rest, he decides.


	4. meeting an old friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gregor is a little liar. ripred is still a bit of an asshole, and eli has several mental breakdowns within the span of like ten minutes but its okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha im not dead. trying to make these longer so enjoy

The door chimes as Gregor steps into the store, and Eli perks up as soon as he sees Gregor.  
“You’re here! I was starting to think you were gone for good.”  
Gregor shrugs, walking up to the counter. “I was busy.”  
Eli gives him an odd look, raising an eyebrow. “Uh, okay. Anyway, so? What’s the deal?”  
Gregor takes a breath, squeezing his hand into a fist at his side.  
“I’ll take you.”  
Eli’s eyes light up and a smile breaks across his face. “Seriously? We can take a train or something. I’ll take care of travel costs. Actually, maybe by car? I’ll talk to my mom. When can we go?”  
Gregor thinks of the fact that his parents won't know about this trip. That they never will.  
“Next weekend? If that works for you.”  
Eli grins and runs his hand through his hair quickly, turning it into a mess of curls. “Okay. Okay, sweet. Next weekend. That’s like, a few days?”  
Gregor nods, guilt already festering in his gut that he was going to be lying to his parents.  
Eli glances at him for a moment, before quirking another smile. “Come back tomorrow, yeah? I’ll have the stuff so you can tell your parents and whatnot. I’ll try to get the car from my mom.”  
“You can drive?” Gregor asks, surprised.  
Eli nods, waving behind Gregor as someone else walks in. “Yeah. For a few months. You can’t?”  
Gregor shrugs. “I’m not sixteen.”  
Eli looks at him again, frowning. “Really? Damn, how old were you when you went under?”  
Under?  
“You mean the Underland? I was eleven.”  
Eli’s eyes widen, but he doesn't say anything more.  
“Is that it?” Gregor asks with a sigh.  
Eli nods, leaning up against the counter. “Yeah. You gonna stay?”  
Gregor hesitates a moment, before shrugging. “My sister wanted a new puzzle book. I said I’d get her one if I came.”  
“If? You weren’t gonna come?”  
Gregor mumbles a non-committal response, walking away to go back to the discounted books. He shuffles through the stack until he finds a puzzle book full of anagrams. Perfect.  
~  
To say he felt bad was an understatement. It was the night before he was leaving--escaping?--to go to New York, and he felt like he was going to be sick. His bag was packed with flashlights, a pocket knife he had found, two water bottles, extra batteries, granola bars, and of course, a roll of duct tape. He had thrown in his notebook and pen for good measure, because he might have to leave a note instead of going down with Eli. If they went down.  
“Gregor?”  
Gregor looks up at his uncle from the couch he was currently sprawled across, flushing at the raised eyebrow look he got from him.  
“Yeah?”  
“Are you okay?”  
Gregor sits up, shoving his hands into his sweatshirt pocket, clenching them into fists. “Yeah. I’m good. Why?”  
He moves to sit next to Gregor on the couch and reaches out to put his hand on Gregor’s knee.  
“I’m just worried. You’ve been awfully quiet these past couple days. Did something happen at school? I know I’m not your mom or dad, but I’m still here if you need me.”  
“Yeah, I know. Honestly. I’m okay.”  
Gregor tries not to seem rude as he pulls his knee away and stands up. “I’m tired,” he says softly. “I’m just gonna…” He gestures towards the stairs as he starts to move towards them, not waiting for his uncles' response. He hoped he’d be able to get some sleep tonight.  
~  
Waking up to a crushing weight on his chest wasn't exactly Gregor’s idea of a good start, but if the crushing weight was Boots, it couldn't be too bad.  
“Gregor! Get up!”  
With a groan he gently pushes Boots off his chest, sitting up to look at her properly. “I’m up you crazy girl. What is it?”  
“Can you take me to the park today? Mom said she had stuff to do so she said you can take me!”  
His stomach twists, and he pulls Boots into a hug. “How about tomorrow? I’ve gotta go somewhere today.”  
She pushes away from the hug, gazing up at him curiously. “Where? Can I come? I wanna come with you, Gregor!”  
“Not this time, Boots.”  
She crosses her arms and sticks her bottom lip out, staring up at him. “Gregor!”  
A smile breaks across his face, which only makes Boots pout more. “What?” She demands. “What?”  
“Nothing,” Gregor laughs. He pushes the covers back and gets up, swooping Boots up before swinging her down to the ground with a grunt. “You’re getting too big for that.”  
She huffs indignantly, before stomping around his room while he pulled on a t-shirt and sweatshirt.  
“Gregor, you’re too slow!” She complains. “Let’s go! The sooner you come home the faster we can go to the park.”  
Gregor reaches to ruffle her hair, laughing at her shriek. He scoops up his backpack before ushering Boots out of his room and into the hallway, telling her to hush before she wakes everyone up. Her reply to that was that if everyone was awake, there wasn't any reason for her to be quiet anymore. He hushed her anyway. She finally gives in, lowering her voice to a dramatic stage whisper that has Gregor rolling his eyes. She sits at the table with him while he forces down a bowl of cereal, chattering away about the book she was currently reading. Something about a unicorn. Gregor couldn't focus on a word of it. He was too busy worrying that his mom or dad would come down and see his bag and somehow connect the dots that he was going back.  
Boots tugging on his sweatshirt sleeve makes him realize he’s been staring blankly into his now soggy cereal for the past few minutes.  
“Gregor, what’s wrong?”  
He smiles what he hopes is a reassuring smile, and stands up, collecting his dirty dish to put in the dishwasher. “Nothing. I’m okay. You should tell Lizzie about your book when she wakes up.”  
Boots grins, showcasing her gappy smile. When had she lost her teeth? Gregor couldn't remember. An empty feeling washes over him, and the smile he was wearing fell away, replaced by a feeling of complete exhaustion. He grabs his bag from where it was hanging by the door, shouldering it as he opens the door. Boots hangs onto the door, watching him walk out. He half wishes he can bring her with him. She’s always been with him on his Underland journeys. But, he forces himself to remember, you’re not actually going down.  
“You gonna be okay?” He asks. “Until mom or someone else wakes up?”  
She nods quickly, her eyes shining in the early morning light. Gregor’s heart squeezes in his chest and he ducks down to kiss her on the forehead before running down the front steps to meet Eli. He looks back to see Boots wipe her forehead; her face scrunched up in disgust. He laughs slightly to himself, before looking down the driveway at the approaching car. Eli pulls up in front of him, grinning as he rolls the window down.  
“Good morning! Ready for the trip?”  
Gregor tries not to run as he goes around to the passenger side, and ducks into the seat, settling his backpack between his feet. Eli peeks over at the bag, frowning.  
“What all do you have in there?”  
Gregor shrugs, buckling himself in. “Just some necessary stuff.”  
Eli pauses, before shrugging. “Alright. Whatever. Let’s go. You ready?”  
“Yeah.”  
Eli shifts the car into drive, and then they’re off. It feels strangely exhilarating, Gregor thinks. To be off towards the Underland again. Even if it’s multiple hours away.  
Eli looks over to him, and smiles. “This feels crazy. A part of me feels like I shouldn’t believe you for a second, and tell you that you’re fucking insane, but another part feels like this is something that could totally happen.”  
Gregor doesn't respond, only turning to glance out the window at the landscape that zips past.  
“How…” Eli pauses, long enough that Gregor glances over, finding him chewing on his lower lip. “How do you manage it?”  
“Manage what?”  
Eli shrugs, not taking his eyes off the road. “Everything. I can’t...I honestly can’t stop thinking about everything that happened to you. I don’t know how you can even continue in normal life.”  
“Sometimes I think it was a dream,” Gregor admits. “When I close my eyes I can sometimes think it was all a dream until…”  
Until he sees his body. Until he looks at that picture of him and Luxa, and until he thinks he’ll go crazy from the nightmares of the things he did down there. Of the dead that still haunt him, even though it’s been long enough that he should’ve let go by now.  
“Until what?”  
Gregor startles out of his thoughts and hopes Eli doesn't see his trembling hands as he shoves them under his thighs. “Until I remember it was all real.”  
It was all real. Right. Nothing would ever change that. Of course, Gregor was glad he met Luxa. That he got the chance to fall in love with her. That he could meet Ares and Tick and Temp and Hazard. Hamnet and Howard and Mareth. Even Ripred. So many people. Some still hopefully alive, others were gone. But they had all been important to him, and shaped him into who he was today.  
Gregor sits back, letting his head loll against his shoulder, squeezing his eyes shut.  
Maybe he would still be playing saxophone if he had never gone down. He would still be in New York. But his dad would still be gone. Probably be dead. There were too many things to consider.  
“Gregor, you can sleep if you want. We’ve got a long drive ahead of us.”  
“Yeah, okay.” He mumbles.  
~  
Gregor jerks awake to someone shaking his shoulder. He blinks blearily around, seeing only countryside and the other cars racing past. He looks to Eli, surprised, but his question dies in his throat when he sees Eli’s face. He looks terrified.  
“W-what?” Gregor manages.  
“I--I had to pull over to wake you up. Sorry. You were starting to scream and I--”  
Gregor stares at him, before he feels tears prick at the back of his eyes, but he blinks them back. Not bothering to hide his shaking hands, he feels his mouth twist into a mockery of a smile as he lets his eyes shut.  
“Shit. Sorry. I’ll stay awake.”  
Eli gives Gregor a look that Gregor can't decipher, but nods anyway, and pulls back out onto the highway. They sit in silence for a while, until Eli breaks it.  
“Are they bad?”  
“Are what bad?”  
“The nightmares.”  
Gregor presses his lips together, trying to remember what this one had even been about. “Yeah.”  
Eli doesn't say another word on the subject, but turns the radio on to some pop station, and turns it up.  
~  
They get there by two, and to the park shortly after. The cold that bites them to their bones helps keep the park deserted, and Gregor leads the way to the entrance, almost unable to believe that they were there. That Luxa was so so close yet still so far away.  
“You gotta help me move the rock,” Gregor says over his shoulder as the entrance comes into view.  
Gregor waits for Eli before they shove the rock to the side and step through. They manage to drag the stone shut behind them, throwing them into darkness. Gregor pauses, dimly wondering if his echolocation would still work. He can hear Eli digging around in the bag he brought for a flashlight, but Gregor reaches out blindly and grabs his arm, stopping him.  
“What?” Eli whispers.  
“Hold on,” Gregor says. “I want to try something.”  
“Uh, okay.”  
Gregor swallows hard, forcing down the anxiety that maybe it wouldn't work and he’d be at mercy to the flashlights and batteries again. He claps. Nothing. Wait--no. Not nothing. He can just barely make out the ridges in the stone wall. He claps again, and it’s still faint, but it’s still there.  
“You good?”  
Gregor realizes he’s smiling, so he wrestles it down, and huffs out a breath. “Yeah. All good.”  
A flashlight clicks on, beaming onto the floor. A cockroach skitters past and Gregor watches it go, thinking about Temp.  
“So how are we doing this?” Eli asks.  
Gregor slides down to the floor and unzips his bag, reaching in for the notebook and pen he had packed. Eli moves to sit next to him, shining the light on the notebook so they can both see. Gregor flips through to find a blank page, ignoring Eli’s sound of confusion.  
“What should it say?”  
“Gregor,” Eli starts, “What’s up with this notebook? Why is it full of...lines?”  
Gregor’s grip tightens on the pen, and he forces himself to relax against the passage’s wall. “It’s nothing. Actually, we should probably write in the code so that they know it’s not a trick or anything.”  
“What’s the code?”  
“The Code of Claw. Something we used during the war.”  
Eli doesn't respond to that, instead settles back against the wall, letting out a long breath. “Okay. How about ‘Please send Hazard to the Central Park entrance. His possible cousin wants to meet him.’”  
Gregor turns to him, an incredulous look on his face. “You’re kidding, right?”  
Eli looks confused, as if it was obvious he wasn’t. “No. Just say what we need to say and all that.”  
Gregor doesn’t get a chance to respond to that, because a scrape fills the momentary silence of the passage. Gregor is on his feet before he realizes it, his hand somehow gripping the pocket knife he brought. He manages to relax, though, when a long leg creeps into the light, accompanied by the face of Temp.  
Eli shrieks from behind Gregor, dropping the flashlight and sending it rolling across the floor. It settles facing Temp, illuminating his face, which does nothing to help Eli stop his screaming.  
Gregor turns to glare at him. “Will you shut up?” He hisses.  
Eli snaps his mouth shut, nodding mutely, though he looked like he was about to pass out.  
“Why Overlander here, why here?” Temp asks, his antennae waving slightly.  
Gregor steps forwards to Temp, happiness bubbling up inside him at the sight of the roaches face. “I’m so glad to see you, Temp.”  
“Gone is princess? Princess?”  
“Boots is at home,” Gregor replies, feeling guilty as Temp seems to wilt. “We’re not--We need to talk to Hazard. Wait, how did you even know we were here?”  
“Am I the only one,” Eli interrupts, “Horrified by the fact that you’re talking to a huge cockroach and that it’s talking back?”  
Gregor bristles, sending an apologetic look to Temp. “Temp is not an it. Temp is a he. And most all the people in the Underland can talk. Plus, you knew about it before we even came here.”  
“Yeah, but that’s different than actually seeing it!”  
Gregor sighs, and turns back to Temp, still waiting on his answer.  
“Overland friends tell us. They talk to us, they do.”  
Gregor shouldn’t be surprised. The gnawers could talk with the rats, so it made sense everyone else could talk or communicate with their Overland counterparts too.  
“The gnawer knows, he knows.” Temp continues. “Here he is, he here.”  
Gnawer. Who was it? He can hear the scratch of nails on stone and his mind is suddenly so so clear as he adjusts the pocket knife in his hand. His vision narrows in on an X on a narrow face.  
“Put it down, Gregor.” Ripred snaps. “I don't want to fight you. It would only be a waste of time and you would make a fool of yourself.”  
“Ripred.” Gregor can't hide the relief in his voice at seeing him.  
Eli squeaks from behind him, catching Ripred’s attention.  
“Who’s this? Decided to change your usual company?”  
“He can talk--”  
“He can also bite.” Ripred sneers, snapping his teeth at him.  
Eli takes several steps back, mumbling something to himself that Gregor can’t hear.  
“Why are you here?” Ripred asks, turning back to Gregor. “And I told you to put that down.”  
His tail comes around to smack his hand, but Gregor’s body is ahead of his mind, and he twists away from the hit, clutching the knife tighter.  
Ripred laughs, a sound that’s grating and rough. “You’ve still got it in you! Haven't been able to bury it away? Because you won’t be able to.”  
Gregor glares at Ripred, the ridges of the handle digging into his palm. “I know.” He spits. “I know it’s never going away.”  
Ripred flicks his paw dismissively, his eyes narrowing in on Gregor. “So why are you here?”  
“Because I found Hazard’s maybe cousin. Figured he’d want to meet him.”  
Ripred cocks his head slightly, as if thinking. “What makes you say that?”  
“I just…”  
“You sure it’s not you wanting to come back? Do your parents know you’re here? Or did you sneak away to come?”  
When Gregor doesn't respond, Ripred’s mouth opens in feigned surprise. “Overlander! You didn't. Oh, I’m sure you won't be allowed to go anywhere once you go back.”  
“Gregor?”  
It’s Eli, who seems to have come back to himself.  
“You said your parents said it was okay. I wouldn't have brought you if I knew they said no…”  
“Even your new Overlander friend knows!” Ripred chuckles. “Say goodbye to any freedom you had before.”  
“Can we go to Hazard or no?”  
“I’m sure you could.”  
Gregor takes five seconds to calm himself down, realizing he didn't miss this part of Ripred at all.  
“Ripred. Please.”  
“There’s the manners! I knew you had them in there somewhere! I suppose I could go ask Luxa for a bat.”  
“Thank you.”  
“If you give me a good enough reason.”  
Behind Gregor, Eli takes a step up, frowning.  
“H-hey. He asked nicely. Why can’t you? I want to meet him. He’s family, after all.”  
Ripred creeps forwards, stopping a couple feet from Eli. He rears up on his hind legs, considering. Eli looks terrified, but he doesn't move--either from bravery or sheer stupidity, Gregor doesn't know, but he stands his ground. Ripred lowers a paw to rest on his shoulder, curling his claws until they poke through his shirt, pricking the skin. Eli winces as Ripred bares his teeth; stumbling away as soon as he releases him.  
“Wait here.” Ripred commands. “I’ll bring back what you need.”  
Gregor nods tensely, watching Ripred and Temp both disappear back into the gloom.


	5. you are who you are

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gregor gets a rude awakening. luxas there.

By the time Ripred returns, Gregor has already packed everything up, and Eli has regained possession of his flashlight. Whatever Gregor was expecting, it wasn't the complete absence of Hazard, and the presence of two bats.   
“Where is he?” Gregor demands.   
Ripred waves his paw, sighing. “I told you I’d bring what you needed. And you need to go to Regalia if you want to meet with Hazard. Luxa would never allow it otherwise.”  
Gregor’s heart twists at the mention of Luxa. He would get to see her. But he would be going back.   
“Ripred,” Gregor pauses, wondering if it was ok to say in front of the bats and Eli. Whatever, he decides. “I can’t go back. Not to Regalia. Or anywhere else. This is as far as I can go.”  
Ripred gives him an appraising nod, before going over to one of the bats, and whispering something to them. The bat seems surprised, but dives out of the passage into the air above the Waterway.   
“Thank you, Ripred,” Gregor says. Relief that Ripred wasn't going to fight him on this lifted a weight from his shoulders. “I’ll write a note for Eli to take with him. He can talk to Hazard and then come back and--”  
He’s cut off by Ripred’s tail swishing at his feet, not tripping him, but knocking him unbalanced. In a smooth move, Ripred swings him over his shoulder, and throws him through the opening. He thinks he hears Eli yelling something, but he can’t hear anything over his own screaming and pure blind terror. It takes him a while to realize he didn't fall into the water. That he didn't drown and die and that this wasn't his nightmares. The bat that caught him is saying something but Gregor can only hear a dim ringing in his ears and feel the sobs wracking his body. He grips to the bat's fur tightly enough that he thinks he might pull it out, but somehow doesn't. They’re flying slowly, drifting over the waterway. Gregor turns his head and sees Eli’s bat zip past, Eli yelling in either excitement or fear. Maybe a bit of both.   
“Underlander, are you okay?”  
Gregor doesn't respond, and he feels the shift in the bat's body as he turns his neck to look at him.   
“I am called Phobos. I will not drop you, Overlander. If you could loosen your hold a bit though, it would be more comfortable…”  
Gregor manages to loosen his grip painstakingly slowly until he hears Phobos sigh. “Thank you, Overlander.”  
“My name is Gregor.”  
“Gregor. You can relax. I will not drop you.”  
“I trust you. My body doesn't though.”  
Phobos lets out a chirping noise Gregor thinks might be laughter. “Very well, Overlander.”  
“It’s Gregor. That’s my name. Call me by my name.”  
“How do you know Ripred, Gregor?”  
No use in lying.   
“We fought in the war together.”  
Phobos’ wings stutter for a moment and Gregor's fingers tighten before he evens out again. “The war?”  
“Yes.”  
“But...you are so young.”  
“Fifteen.”  
“Gregor--”  
“It was a long time ago, Phobos.”  
“Is that why you were screaming? You were also crying.”  
“Wow, really? I didn't notice. Thank you so much for pointing that out.”  
“I did not mean to upset you,” Phobos grumbles.   
Gregor doesn't reply, and instead buries his face into the bat's fur. If he doesn't think about it, it could be Ares. It could be Ares and they could be flying with Luxa beside them, and everything was okay because Ares was alive and--  
“We are almost there, Gregor.”  
He picks his head up, and sees the glowing lights of Regalia approaching. He would murder Ripred later, he decides. Set a trap with that stupid shrimp in cream sauce he loved so much. He watches the city flash by underneath them, until they swoop into the High Hall, landing softly on the floor. Gregor slides off Phobos’ back to the floor, and thanks him quietly. In the better light, Gregor can see Phobos is a mottled white and black, and he has pitch black eyes. Eli is talking animatedly with the bat who carried him. The bat seems just as excited about whatever Eli is talking about, and any of Eli’s earlier fears seemed to have disappeared.   
“Gregor?”  
Oh god.   
Gregor turns slowly, wondering what four years had done to her.   
“Luxa.”  
She’s beautiful. She’s wearing typical Underland garb--a loose shirt and tighter pants, good for flying, and her golden circlet. Her hair has grown out as well. It hangs in a braid similar to what Gregor first saw her with, but it only swung to her mid-back now.  
“Why are you here?” Her voice is tight, and she looks like she doesn't know whether or not to be happy. Gregor hopes she goes for happy.   
“Hazard. Ripred should be here soon I guess.”  
She walks closer to him, and he notices the dagger on her belt. He shouldn’t be surprised.   
“What about Hazard?”  
“Uh, I think that’s his cousin,” Gregor says, gesturing to Eli, who was now examining the bat's stretched out wing.   
Luxa stares at him before she clenches her jaw. “Explain.”  
“Can we sit down and talk?”  
She pauses, before nodding. 

~

Gregor slumps into the cushions set out on the floor, Eli blabbering away at his side. Luxa sits criss-cross across from him, her posture rigid as she looks at him.   
“Okay,” Gregor starts, “So, apparently, like seven years ago or whatever, Eli’s aunt disappeared in New York. They never found anything about her disappearance, and there’s the fact that Eli kinda looks exactly like Hazard. Except older.”  
“And darker,” Luxa adds.  
“Yeah,” Gregor sighs. “And darker.”  
Luxa stands, crossing her arms across her chest. “If you can tell me Hazard’s mothers name, I can confirm it. Otherwise, something else happened to her.”  
Gregor nudges Eli next to him, and he starts, looking up at Luxa.   
“Uh, I think it was Sara.”  
Luxa stiffens, then sighs, her hands relaxing at her sides. “I will fetch him.” She says, before she disappears through the doorway.   
Eli turns to Gregor, suddenly looking anxious. “What if he doesn't like me? Gregor, what if he wants nothing to do with me?”  
Gregor reaches and pats his arm carefully, offering a tight smile. “You’ll be fine.”  
Hazard comes bursting through the doorway a few moments later, his eyes bright. He breaks out into a mixture of squeaks and English and various other noises, and it takes Gregor a moment to realize he’s rambling in a mixture of Underland languages. Luxa enters behind him, and puts a hand on his shoulder, smiling slightly.   
“Gregor!” He finally says. “You are back! Is Boots with you? Luxa said there was someone here to meet me and I--” His eyes finally land on Eli, and he stares open-mouthed. Eli is equally as silent.   
“Who are you?” Hazard asks. “I have never seen another Underlander with green eyes. Are you a Halflander too?”  
Eli stares at him a moment longer before he shakes his head as if to clear his mind. “Uh, no. I’m your cousin.”  
Hazards eyes widen and he steps closer to Eli. “What?”  
“Your mom--my mom's sister--is my aunt. So, you’re my cousin.”  
“I did not know I had another cousin…” Hazard looks up to Luxa, who nods ever so slightly. “You are related to my mom?”  
Eli nods. “She’s my aunt.”  
Hazard sits down next to Eli slowly, as if he still wasn't sure about him. “Why are you here?”  
Gregor tunes them out as they begin to talk, and instead shuffles to his feet to stand next to Luxa.   
“How are you?” He asks.   
She looks at him, before wrinkling her nose. “You smell. You should bathe. Your friend as well.”  
Gregor unsuccessfully tries not to blush, taking a step back. “Well, I was in a car all day. I showered last night!”  
She quirks a smile, her eyes crinkling slightly. “It is good to see you.”  
“Yeah. Has Ripred come back yet? I need to talk to him.”  
“I do not know. I can ask someone if you want. Why?”  
“Because I have to kill him.”  
Luxa looks alarmed, grabbing his wrist tightly enough to hurt. “Gregor you cannot.”  
He stares at her, trying to shake off her hand. “Relax, Luxa. I’m kidding. Kinda. He threw me out the opening of the passage. So I’m a little mad.”  
She releases his wrist, her mouth twisting as she looks at him. “Why would you not just jump? You had a bat, yes?”  
“Because.”  
Raising an eyebrow, her finger taps against her arm slightly. “Because why?”  
“Nothing. I need to go find Ripred.”  
“I will accompany you,” Luxa announces.   
“That’s okay. I said I wasn't going to kill him.” Gregor says with a laugh.   
“You are a Rager, Gregor. You could probably kill him if need be. I want to come along regardless.”  
Something unpleasant twists in Gregor’s stomach and he turns away from Luxa to walk out the door. She follows behind, quiet. Gregor doesn't know where he’s going, doesn't care. He ends up back at the High Hall, where he sees Phobos still there with the bat Eli flew on.   
“Phobos!” Gregor calls.   
Phobos looks up, fluttering over to him curiously. “Yes?”  
“Let’s go. Please.”  
Phobos glances back to Luxa. “I cannot.”  
“I won’t hold so tight this time. Please, Phobos.” His voice cracks on Phobos’ name, and he winces internally.   
Phobos nods ever so slightly, before lowering himself for Gregor to climb on. Gregor manages to leap on in a normal position, and with his muttered ‘go, go, go’ Phobos takes off. Luxa starts, and runs to try to and jump on. She almost makes it. Her hand reaches out, as if expecting Gregor to grab it. When he doesn’t, her eyes flash with anger as she falls back down to earth. He hears her calling for Aurora as they fly away, but he doesn't care. His head is spinning which isn't good when he’s so high up.   
“Overlander, where are we going?”  
Where are they going? Gregor doesn't know. He just knows he had to get out of there. Where it was crushingly familiar. He can't think of anywhere to go but one place and Ares would probably hate him, but he needs to go there. So Gregor helps direct Phobos to Ares’ cave, and when they arrive Gregor rolls off Phobos’ back and curls himself up into a corner, the chill from the rock seeping through his layers of clothes.   
“Okay. Thanks, Phobos. Now you can go.”  
“Overlander, I will not leave you here.”  
“Yes, you will. Go. Don’t make me do something I’ll regret.”  
“Overlander, you do not scare me. I am not leaving.”  
“Good thing I don't scare you. Because I terrify myself.”   
Gregor pulls his hood up and pulls the ties tight and squeezes his eyes shut. “Phobos, have you ever killed someone?”  
There's a scuffle of wings accompanied by a brief moment of silence.   
“No, I have not. Have you?”  
“Yeah.” Gregor doesn't really recognize his own voice. “I lost count though. I’m a murderer, Phobos. I can’t stand in Regalia next to Luxa or anyone without them knowing I killed so many people.”  
“Gregor, if you fought in the war--”  
“It doesn't matter, Phobos! That’s the crazy thing!” Gregor rips his hood back, jumping to his feet. “The crazy thing is that it doesn't matter if I fought in the stupid war! I was a twelve year old murderer who got his bond killed and I didn't even get to follow him! I had to be stitched back together when I could’ve joined him and--” Choking back a sob, he slumps against the wall, shoving the heel of his palms into his eyes. “Fuck, fuck, fuck. I’ve never told anyone that! What the hell is wrong with me?”  
Gregor ignores the scuffle of noise, but stiffens when he feels wings envelop him. It’s warm. He slumps against Phobos, letting the bat close his wings around him, enclosing him into the embrace. He only gets to appreciate it for a few moments before he hears the beating of wings and clattering steps. Phobos opens his wings, revealing Luxa and Aurora standing at the entrance.   
“Gregor.”  
She looks furious.   
“Please don’t do this,” Gregor says.   
Luxa takes a better look at his face, and something like surprise stutters across. “Were you...crying?”  
Gregor sniffs, forcing a laugh out from the cave that’s his chest. “Not yet. Give me some time and I’ll have the waterworks for you.”  
“What is wrong?” Luxa asks, and maybe it’s the way her voice is so soft or the fact that it’s Luxa after all these years, but the waterworks start to run and Gregor can’t stop them.   
She steps closer to him, sparing a bewildered look back to Aurora. She pulls him into a hug, squeezing him tight. “Gregor?”  
“I’m fine.” He chokes out.   
“Overlander--! Do not lie about something as--!”  
“Phobos! Shut up!” His words are muffled by Luxa’s shoulder, but he gets the message and goes quiet.   
Luxa, however, ignores his words, and pushes him away, her grip tight on his shoulders.   
“What are you lying about?”  
“Nothing, Luxa. It’s nothing.”  
“Gregor.” Her voice is low and quick and she sounds so angry. “If you do not tell me I will have Phobos tell me and then I will know either way. What is wrong?”  
“Nothing! Nothing’s wrong with me!”  
She ignores him and releases his shoulders, stepping towards Phobos instead.   
“What has he told you? Tell me everything.”  
Gregor turns to look at Phobos through blurry eyes, wondering if he would actually tell her. Probably. He couldn't disobey a queen.   
“Your Highness, I--”  
“I do not have time for this.” She snaps. “Tell me.”  
Phobos’ wings flutter, and Gregor feels his heart fall because he knows he’ll tell her. Because that’s what was expected.   
“Phobos.” Gregor starts. “It’s okay. I...I’ll tell her.”  
Luxa turns back to him, looking smug. She had no idea what he was about to say. He took a breath, and shoved his hands into his pocket. Just talk. Just like in the journal, but out loud.   
“I’m scared.” He starts, and it feels like the cork exploding from the bottle because then it starts stumbling out and he can't stop it. “Of falling. I’m terrified of falling and drowning in the Waterway. That there won't be someone to catch me and I’ll die like I should’ve when Ares died. The Bane should’ve killed me and I’m living on borrowed time that’s gonna expire as soon as people find out what I am.”   
Luxa looks like she doesn't want to hear anymore. But Gregor keeps talking.   
“I’m scared that I’m gonna kill someone again. God, Luxa...I don't even know where to start. I’m a natural born killer. Killers aren't accepted in the Overland, Luxa! They get sent to prison!”  
He takes a step towards her, trying to say everything right. Knowing he couldn't.   
“I’m going completely crazy. I don't belong in either the Overland or the Underland. I…”  
“Enough.”  
Gregor looks up at Luxa, who is staring at him with her mouth tight.   
“Enough, Gregor.”  
He tucks his hand into his sleeve and drags it across his face in an attempt to clean it off as best as he can.   
“I..Phobos.” She says, and she’s back to calm and collected. “Take him back. I will be right behind you, so do not do anything to try and get away.”  
“Yes, Your Highness…”  
Phobos flutters over to Gregor, turning to let him get on.   
“Overlander...Let us go…”

~

Phobos is quiet on the fly back. Luxa follows right behind them just as she said. She’s silent as well. The only sound that cuts through the air is the Waterway rushing below, the beat of wings, and Gregor’s own panicked breathing in his ears. The ride feels like it goes on for forever. When they finally reach Regalia, Luxa sends him straight from the High Hall to the baths. He ends up spending more time in there then he would’ve wanted. Eventually, someone comes in and tell him he's being summoned by the Queen. Luxa, then. He clambers out of the bath, not sparing a second glance to the scars as he dresses in the comfortable clothing of the Underland. And then it was onto meet Luxa. 

He found her in the smaller dining room, sitting with Ripred, Hazard, and Eli. Gregor noticed Eli had already changed (and presumably bathed) into Underlander garbs, and was talking with Hazard, a bright smile on his face. When Gregor stepped in, Luxa looked up, and gave him a brief smile.   
“You are here.”  
“Yeah.”  
He let himself drop down next to Luxa, and stared at the food that covered the table. As soon as Luxa made a move for it, Ripred dove in with his normal gusto. Gregor couldn't even bring himself to be disgusted by his manners. He was nervous about why they were all gathered here. Because if they planned to let them leave, they wouldn't have made them bathe. Luxa glanced towards Gregor, who was still looking at the rapidly disappearing food in front of him. His plate remained empty.   
“Do you feel unwell, Gregor?” She asked cautiously.   
“I need some fresh air,” Gregor managed; standing and running out the door.   
He made it down a couple of corridors to where he hoped an entrance to the outside was, when he ran into a solid chest. He stumbled back, an apology already stumbling from his mouth.   
“I-I’m sorry, I was just…”   
He ran out of words as he realized who it was.   
“Mareth.”  
Mareth smiled, clapping a hand on Gregor’s shoulder.   
“Gregor! I did not know you had returned!”  
“Ah, uh, I’m not here to stay. I had something I needed to do…”  
“As did I. Luxa called for me. She said she had someone for me to talk to. Was it you?”  
“I don't know. Listen--Can I catch up with you later? I really need to get outside right now.”  
“I will take you.”  
Mareth started walking the way Gregor had already come, not looking back to see if he followed. Gregor stuffed his annoyance down and went after him, following through the various hallways until they emerged on a small balcony overlooking the city. Gregor didn't move from the doorway due to the fact that the balcony was just a platform.   
“Gregor?”  
Mareth was standing near the edge, and Gregor had half a mind to yank him back. What if he fell?  
“Gregor, are you alright?”  
Gregor pulled himself from his thoughts, and forced a smile onto his face. “Yeah. I’m fine. Sorry. Just thinking.”

~

Back in the dining room, Eli and Hazard had left. Whether by their own will or Luxa’s, Gregor didn't know. Mareth sat himself down next to Ripred, but kept a safe distance from him.   
“Mareth.” Luxa began, “Thank you for coming.”  
“Of course. Was it Gregor you wanted me to speak to? I am sure I would have found him around at another point in time.”  
“I am sure,” Luxa said with a small smile. The smile slipped away as she looked to Gregor. “I want you to talk to them.”  
Gregor thought she must be joking. “About what? I don't have anything to talk about. Unless they want to hear about me failing high-school.”  
Ripred gave him a cool look, and began to gnaw on a bone from his plate. “Listen, boy. Luxa has told us of what you told her. It is not uncommon in soldiers. You have been--”  
Gregor got to his feet so quickly his head spun, and he had to grab onto the table edge to keep himself from falling. “I’m not talking about this. I came here for Eli. Not for myself. I’m fine.”  
Ripred bared his teeth and rose to his own haunches. “It is not a matter of if you want to talk or not. If you snap in the Overland you could hurt someone. I am not going to have that on my conscience.”  
“Well, you’re gonna have to deal with it.”  
“I have your notebook.”  
Gregor’s heart stopped. He looked up to Ripred, who was holding the notebook in a paw, as he flipped it open leisurely. “I wonder what it would say? You obviously do not want other Overlanders reading it. I am more surprised you have filled nearly this entire thing with Code.”  
Luxa looks puzzled, until Ripred flips it around to her. Her eyes go wide as she starts to scan over it. Gregor doesn't know if she can make anything out. He knows Ripred probably already went through it, just to spite him.   
“Give that back.”   
Mareth looks startled at the quiet venom in his voice, but he doesn't care.   
“Give it back, Ripred.”  
Ripred ignores him, and continues to flip through. “Ah. Here is a passage from only a couple days ago! Let’s see...Nightmares, odd looks, survivors guilt, wishing you were--”  
Gregor lunged across the table at Ripred, but he only danced out of the way, a wicked grin spreading across his face.   
“You’ll need to be faster than that, little pup! Suppressing who you are for this long is not good! You used to be so much better. I bet you can’t use echolocation anymore, can you?”  
“I can!” Gregor snapped.   
Luxa and Mareth watched the game of chase go on for a moment, before Luxa stood, opening her mouth to say something. Instead, Ripred flipped the notebook shut and grinned.   
“Good,” He said.   
He used his tail to smash all the torches in the small room, eliciting a startled gasp from Luxa. And then the world went dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> worked to try and make this long but it didnt go quite according to plan sorry folks ahhh


	6. you'll get there eventually

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gregors trying his best

It takes Gregor a moment to adjust. A moment too long, because his feet are swept out from underneath him and he can't help but scream as he feels the hot breath of Ripred against his throat. He knows it’s Ripred. Knows he wouldn't hurt him (at least, not in Regalia, not in the palace). So why? He wishes he could take back those last few seconds and redo them. But he can’t. So now he’s stuck in the dark with a rat about to bite his throat out, Mareth, and the girl he’s in love with. A light flares in the corner, revealing Luxa standing with a newly lit torch, her face pale.  
“Ripred, that was not the way.” She admonishes.  
He stands and moves away from Gregor, who’s struggling not to panic. He’s not making very good progress. Mareth kneels down next to him, and tugs him to a sitting position.  
“Up.” He demands. “Sit up, head between your knees.”  
Gregor blindly follows the directives, and he feels better after a couple of calming breaths.  
“Gregor.”  
It’s Luxa’s voice, and Gregor really doesn't want to look at her right now. His head is still spinning from what just happened, and he realizes Mareth is trying to say something.  
“Gregor, you must breath.”  
“Yeah,” he chokes out. “I know.”  
Mareth sighs, as if Gregor understood it, but clearly wasn't putting it into effect.  
Gregor sees Luxa’s feet stop in front of him, and he finally looks up to face her. She looks upset, and opens her mouth to say something, before closing it, her mouth tight.  
“Luxa--”  
“Why are you like this?” She asks.  
Gregor stares at her for a moment, before he chokes out a laugh. She looks startled, as if this wasn't what she was expecting.  
“What is funny?”  
“You asking me ‘why I’m like this’! Why am I like this? I’d sure as hell like to know. My Uncle says I’ll figure it out, but he clearly doesn't know me well enough.”  
“Gregor, something is wrong with you. You should talk to Mareth and Ripred. They have volunteered--”  
“I don't want to talk to them!” Gregor snaps.  
Something like rage flickers in Luxa’s eyes, before she storms out. He hears her talking to the guards posted, but can't make out what she's saying.  
“I’m going.” He says, stumbling to his feet, and walking to the door.  
But, as he tries to step out, the guards block his way. They look slightly uncomfortable as they bar the way, trying to explain that the Queen had instructed he was not allowed to leave until Ripred or Mareth allowed it. He felt like grabbing their swords from the scabbards that hung from their belts, and fighting his way out. He could do it. He knew. He knew the Rager sensation was there always ready to come out. But he was out of practice. He would probably kill them instead of disarm them. Some part of him said that it would be okay. That he should kill them. They were in his way, after all. But the rest of him made him push that fury deep, deep down. Made him turn around and walk back to Mareth and Ripred; who had continued to stuff his face with fish.  
“I’m not talking to you.”  
Mareth opened his mouth, but Ripred talked right over him.  
“Yes, you are. And besides,” he said, waving a paw dismissively, “I couldn't actually read the notebook. Just made a guess. And it looks like I was right. You’re a mess. And you can't argue with that, because from what I’ve seen of you, you're falling apart.”  
Gregor doesn't argue, but does nothing to confirm it either. So he sits and glares at Ripred, who’s once again moved to grinding his teeth on a bone.  
“You tell me what you think is wrong with me.”  
Gregor was being difficult. He knew something was wrong with him, but didn't know how to say it. Maybe Ripred would be able to. He knew more about this.  
Ripred pauses and considers Gregor for a moment. “I think your mind is sick.”  
That was not what Gregor wanted to hear.  
Mareth grabbed his arm as he tried to stand up, but Gregor ripped it away forcefully, glaring at him. “Do not touch me,” he hissed.  
“I apologize, Overlander, but you must stay. You cannot leave.”  
“Can’t leave? That’s bullshit.”  
Ripred barked out a laugh. “Language, pup. I don't think your mother would appreciate that.”  
“I could get out of here if I really wanted to.”  
“How?” Ripred asks, “Use your dormant skills to escape?”  
Gregor doesn't say what he’s thinking, but it must be written all over his face because Ripred hisses in disapproval, and Mareth looks sick.  
“I’m leaving.” Gregor says flatly.  
He turns away from Mareth’s hesitant reaching hand, and starts to the doorway.  
“Let him leave!” Mareth calls.  
The guards are surprised to see him after only a few minutes, and when they reach out to stop him, he lets his vision fracture. If they touched him, he would kill them.  
He hears a voice behind him, and the guards are quickly retreating, looking scared. Gregor continues on, feeling like he might cry. He wanted to go back. Go back to that summer--no. Go back six years and however many months and days and stop his dad from going down to the laundry room. Make him stay. Keep him so that he could save himself from turning into this. 

~

He finds himself in the High Hall, where it’s quiet. He forces himself to make his mind go quiet. He wished Phobos was here. He wanted to fly. The thought startles him enough that he stops in his tracks. Both thoughts, really. That he wanted a specific bat. That he wanted to fly. But as soon as he pictured it, all he saw was himself falling into the Waterway, or falling onto back breaking rocks. Shuddering, he slumps against the wall, looking up when he hears the tap of claws on rock. Ripred stands a short distance away, his tail swishing slightly on the floor.  
“You didn't let me finish. You know I know of the Overland. You probably have what they call Shell Shock. No. That's an outdated term, isn't it? What do they call it now? PDTS?”  
Gregor manages to find his voice, and a ragged laugh escapes him. “You mean PTSD? I don't have that. I’m not…” He gestured vaguely for lack of a better word. “That.”  
“Says who?”  
“Me.”  
Ripred scoffs. “If everyone decided what they were and what they were not, no one would make any progress. Sometimes you need to be forcibly told what you are. You Overlanders are much softer than the Underlanders. You saw your bond die in front of you, and nearly died yourself. You’ve killed hundreds of people. I’d be more surprised if you were completely fine after that.”  
“I’m fine. I’ve dealt with it for however many years, Ripred.”  
“I’m saying you should not have to!”  
Gregor stares at him, not quite believing it. “What?”  
“You shouldn't have had to deal with it. You're still a child. You should be up in the Overland doing whatever children your age do. Not stewing over the fact that you have killed people and that you are sick.”  
Gregor thought about arguing. Thought about it and what would happen. He thought about what would happen if he didn't. It would be easier. He would have to give up his pride, but maybe it would be for the best.  
“What do I do?”  
He almost couldn't hear his own voice, but Ripred’s ears picked it up easily.  
“You have to work to get better. It took me…” he pauses, and huffs. “A long time to get over the loss of my mate and pups. You’ve had no way to talk about anything. You’re too stubborn to realize when people care.”  
“You care?”  
Ripred snorts, and shakes his head. “Of course not. I care about the future of these lands, and if Luxa is tearing herself apart over your well-being, she can't do her job.”  
Gregor said nothing.  
Ripred sighs, walking to close the distance between them. “Alright. First things first. We’re getting your fighting and temper under control.”  
“Wait--I can't stay down here…”  
“Yes, you can. Your friend will go back with a note from Luxa, for your family. You will stay here. Your Overland doctors won't be of any help.”  
“You don't know that.” Gregor says quietly.  
“You’re right. I don't. What I do know is that as soon as you tell any of them about the Underland, you’ll be sent to a mental ward and never see the light of day again. Still want to go back?”  
“No.”  
Ripred bared his teeth in what might've been a smile, and swished his tail around to whack Gregor in his side.  
“Ow!”  
“You’ll need to be quicker.”  
“You’re an asshole, Ripred!”  
“I know. First we’ll work on your echolocation. If that’s completely gone I think I might gouge my eyes out. Took you long enough to learn it the first time.”  
Gregor shrugs, scratching at his arm. “I can still kinda do it. I tested it out in the tunnels before we met up with you.”  
“Good. Better to build it up rather than start with nothing. Come with me.”  
Gregor walked after Ripred, walking until they stopped in front of a room. “You need to rest first. We will start working tomorrow. We need to get you up on a bat again, also. Meet me in the arena at twelve.”  
“Fine.”  
“I’ll have Luxa arrange another bat.”  
“Okay.”  
“Overlander, know that just because you fight and learn to control yourself, it doesn't mean that the warrior is alive again. He’s dead.”  
Gregor swallows back the lump in his throat. “I know, Ripred. He’s dead. I won't let him come back.”  
“Good. Now go to sleep.”  
And for the first time in years, Gregor slept without nightmares. 

~

He woke and dressed before walking into the corridor, where a guard met him.  
“I was told to bring you to the Queen.”  
“Okay.”  
Turns out it wasn't just Luxa. It was also Eli and Hazard, who were already eating. The sight of food made Gregor’s stomach growl as he realized he hadn't eaten last night.  
“Good morning, Gregor!” Eli chirped.  
“Hey.”  
Hazard glanced up at him, and then to Luxa. “Good morning.”  
Luxa remained silent, watching him as he sat and began to scoop food onto his plate.  
“Ripred said you would have a bat ready.”  
“Yes. Phobos has volunteered. Caerus will take Eli back to the surface.”  
Gregor felt something like relief that he would fly with Phobos again. He didn't trust him, but he at least knew of his fears, and did what he could to make it easier for Gregor.  
“Wait, Gregor, where are you going?” Eli asked. “You have to come with me.”  
Gregor gave a tight smile, and shook his head. “I can't yet. I’ve got stuff I have to do down here. I’ll come back though. Tell my parents--tell my family I’m alright. That I’m doing what my mom wanted.”  
“What?”  
“She’ll understand. Just tell her.”  
“Okay…” Eli said, staring at him like something was odd with him.  
Luxa looked to Gregor, her eyes bright. “You spoke to Ripred?”  
“Yeah, I talked to him. He’s gonna do his best.”  
“And what of Mareth?”  
Gregor paused, thinking of how badly he behaved last night. “I need...I should probably apologize to him. Can I meet with him at dinner?”  
“Yes. I will arrange for that.”  
“Thank you.”  
Luxa paused, before reaching and squeezing his hand quickly.  
“I should probably go,” Gregor says. “I need to meet Phobos. Eli,” Eli looked up at the direct address, pausing his conversation with Hazard. “I’m coming back, so don't forget to tell my family.”  
Eli nods. “I won't. Promise.”  
Luxa stands with Gregor, and follows him from the room. “I will escort you to the High Hall.”  
“Okay.”  
They started walking, getting strange looks from the guards.  
“I’m sorry,” Gregor says. “For last night, I mean. I was a jerk.”  
“You were. You should not take your frustrations out on others.”  
“I know,” Gregor mumbles. “I’m sorry.”  
“It is in the past, as long as you promise it will not happen again.”  
“It won’t. Promise.”  
“Good.”  
And the smile Luxa gives him almost makes up for the fact that he’ll have to be flying soon.

“Overlander!”  
Gregor smiles as Phobos flutters over to them.  
“Hey, Phobos.”  
“You are better now?”  
“Yeah, Phobos. I’m alright now.”  
“We should leave now,” Phobos said, “I fear the gnawer would not take kindly to be being made to wait.”  
“Yeah,” Gregor said, “You’re probably right. I’ll see you later, alright, Luxa?”  
“I will see you later,” she agrees. “Fly you high, Gregor.”  
“Fly you high.”  
He hopped onto Phobos’ back and held on tightly as they took off. 

When they landed in the arena, Ripred wasn't there yet. But he emerged from the tunnel moments later, and gave a nod to Phobos.  
“Alright. Are you ready, Overlander?”  
“I guess.”  
“Get yourself a sword then. And remember what I said last night.”  
The warrior is dead.  
Phobos followed Gregor over to the stand of swords, and waited until he picked one to start asking questions.  
“What did he say last night?”  
Gregor saw no reason to lie. Phobos probably wouldn't believe him anyway.  
“The warrior is dead.”  
Phobos stares at him, and Gregor wonders if he isn't frowning. “The warrior? He died fighting the Bane. He has been dead for years. Apparently they found his sword shattered. They found him with his bond. His bond was an outcast, but--”  
“Enough!”  
Gregor startles, looking up to Ripred, who snarls at Phobos.  
“Do not talk about the warrior. He is dead and is no longer important.”  
Phobos is silent, and flies up to rest on a set of bleachers.  
“I didn't know--”  
“Of course they spun a story. They couldn't exactly say that the warrior was still alive. Not many people know who you are anymore. To most of the palace guards you’re a strange Overlander with strange scars and a fearsome temper.”  
Gregor wilts at the words, sighing. “Great. That’s exactly how I want to be known. Everything I ever wanted.”  
“Stop complaining. We have work to do.”  
Gregor nods, and as he lifts his sword, he’s surprised to find that the weight is familiar, even though he hadn't held one since he last fought the Bane.  
“Feels familiar, right?”  
Gregor nods, feeling slightly sick. “Yeah. Feels like I never put it down.”  
“Then let’s start. You need to control yourself in order to stop fearing yourself. We will do echolocation later, and you will have to work with that bat for your fear of falling.”  
“Okay.”  
He looks at Ripred, who’s all business; backing himself up and readying himself for Gregor.  
“Lizzie missed you.”  
Ripred freezes just for a moment, until he keeps moving away. “Really? Only missed me?”  
“We don't...We don't talk about the Underland much. If I wasn't so fucked up I don't think we’d ever talk about it.”  
“Your parents fault. Not yours. You could talk to Lizzie.”  
“I don't know if she wants to remember...She was the one who kept me in practice with the Code for awhile. Then she just kinda stopped. She still loves puzzles though.”  
“Enough about her.” Ripred says. “We’re focusing on you right now.”  
And before Gregor could process it, Ripred was rushing back at him. Gregor leapt out of the way, but felt a sting on his forearm. He saw blood beading up along a new scratch, and he looked up at Ripred.  
“You actually attacked me!” He accused.  
“Obviously.”  
And he came at him again.  
Gregor let the rager sensation wash over him, even though it made him uneasy to do so. His eyes flicked to the weak spots on Ripred, and was sure Ripred saw a similar map on his own body.  
“Hit me, Gregor. Even though I’m sure you couldn't.”  
“I can!”  
“Then do it!”  
Taking a breath, he gave himself over to the natural fighting sense. It seemed duller than it had last time. Though he probably just wasn't remembering it correctly. But that couldn't be true, because the longer they went, the quicker he became, until he was nearly a shadow of his former glory. Not that that glory held anything to Ripred. He had Gregor disarmed and pushed to the ground in less than five minutes. And that was when Gregor had mainly been on the defensive. This was going to be a long couple hours. 

When Gregor was finally completely wiped out--dripping sweat and gasping in every next breath--Ripred let him stop. Phobos flew down while Gregor struggled to his feet to put the sword away.  
“You did well, Overlander. You are a good fighter.”  
Gregor doesn't want the compliment, but accepts anyway. “Thanks.”  
“Shall we go back to the palace?”  
“Yeah, just hold on.”  
Gregor walked back to Ripred, and Ripred gave him a once over. “You’ve still got a lot you need to work on. Go back and bathe and eat and then meet me in the dining hall where you threatened to kill the guards.”  
Gregor felt heat rush to his cheeks, and glanced back to make sure Phobos hadn't heard. It didn't seem like he had, but maybe he was just being polite.  
“I already said I was sorry!”  
“I don't think you did.”  
Maybe he hadn’t. Or maybe Ripred was just pushing to see how much of his pride he could swallow.  
“I’m sorry.” Gregor grinds out.  
Ripred swishes his tail around towards Gregors head. Gregor sees it from the corner of his eye and instead of leaping out of the way, lets his hand snap up to catch it. It hurts like hell but he’s not going to let Ripred get that satisfaction.  
“Hurry up and go,” Ripred said. “You have until I get back to be ready.”  
Gregor wasn't sure if he was serious.  
“Go on! Shoo!”  
Apparently he was. Gregor ran to Phobos, jumped onto his back, and as soon as they were in the air, curled around the hand that had stopped Ripred’s tail.  
“Fu-uck. That hurt!”  
Phobos chuckled, and turned back to look at Gregor. “I am surprised you managed to keep it in for so long. Your face did nothing to contain the pain you felt.”  
Gregor laughed, shaking his head. “Great. So Ripred knew I was trying to be tough.”  
“Yes, I imagine he did.”  
Phobos swept down into the High Hall, causing Gregor to grab onto his fur tightly. As soon as he slipped off his back, he was apologizing.  
“Sorry. I know I shouldn’t grab so hard but--”  
“It is alright, Overlander. You are better than yesterday.”  
“Thanks. I guess.”  
Gregor made his way to the baths and washed himself down quickly, and hurried to the dining room, where Ripred was already waiting with Luxa. Gregor sat down next to Luxa, who was talking with Ripred. Something about rebel gnawer groups. He waited for them to finish; getting food while they spoke.  
“So, Gregor. Ripred says you are better? At at least controlling yourself.”  
“Yeah.”  
“He’s still a stupid pup though.”  
“Ripred!”  
“Sorry, but it’s true. Now hurry up and eat. We need to do more work.”  
“Yeah, yeah. Just gimme a break…”  
“Gregor, would you be okay if I helped you with the issue of falling? Falling and heights, I mean.”  
Gregor looks over to Luxa, who almost looks nervous.  
“Yeah. Sure. I don't know if that can ever be...fixed.”  
“I am sure nothing is broken! You probably just worry about nothing. I am sure Boots would still hold no fear.”  
Gregor doesn't say that he’s pretty sure Boots doesn't remember the Underland. So he focuses on eating, and when he’s done, follows Ripred to an already darkened room. 

“Tell me what you can do already.”  
“It’s just like, dim. Like it used to be like a flashlight, but now it’s more like candle-light.”  
“Then let’s start.”  
He had him do exercises back from when they very first started. Gregor clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth, and having to point to where Ripred was. He got it wrong a couple times, but Ripred at least seemed pleased with how much he could still do.  
“You just need practice. We’ll work on fighting in the dark from now on then. Work on both. I’m done with you for now, so feel free to do whatever.”  
“Great. Thanks.”

Gregor found himself looking for Mareth. He eventually found him in the hospital, visiting a patient. Gregor waited until he came out before calling for him.  
“Mareth!”  
Mareth looks up at his name, and smiles when he sees Gregor. “Gregor! Good to see you.”  
Gregor glances down to the ground, embarrassment flooding his cheeks. “I’m sorry. About last night.”  
“It is alright, Gregor. You did not seem well last night.”  
“Yeah, well, Ripred says I’ve already got a bad rep throughout the palace.”  
“Rep?”  
“Reputation.”  
“Ah. That might be the case, but I am sure if they knew you they would not be deterred.”  
“Thanks, Mareth. I hope so.”

~

“Luxa, I’m not so sure about this.”  
“Nonsense. You’ll be fine. You trust Phobos, right?”  
Gregor is saved from having to answer this as Luxa shoves him from the two hundred foot drop at the top of the palace wall. He tries his best not to scream. He’s not entirely sure he succeeded. But Phobos caught him, and carried him back up to the top. As soon as he was far, far away from the edge, he gave Luxa a glare.  
“I’m not going to work with you if you do that again, no matter how much I like you.”  
She laughs, and Gregor can't help but think it would be nice to see that laugh more often.  
“You are perfectly safe, Gregor. Phobos is very reliable. Just as Aurora is.”  
Maybe to demonstrate, maybe to show off, Luxa dives over the edge without hesitation, and then shoots up a moment later on Aurora’s back.  
“See? Safe!”  
Gregor turns to look at Phobos who is staring at the Queen and her bond, almost wistfully.  
“What’s wrong, Phobos?”  
“Nothing for you to worry about, Overlander. You have enough to work with as it is.”  
Gregor wants to push, but realizes that Phobos is doing exactly what he does, so he can't exactly complain about it.  
Luxa flips down from Aurora, a smile gracing her features. “Very well. Your turn, Gregor.”  
“Nope. Sorry, Luxa, but this is too much. I think I need a break. Phobos, can you take me back?”  
“Of course.”  
Gregor gives Luxa a wave as he hops on Phobos and flies back to the High Hall.  
“Overlander, you are not new here. You have fought in the war.”  
Gregor dismounts, giving Phobos a backwards look. “Yeah. I fought in the war, why?”  
“I have had an idea, but I fear I may be incorrect. I do not want to offend you.”  
“It’s fine. Shoot.”  
If Phobos is confused by the language, he doesn't show it, and plows ahead.  
“Did you know the warrior? The way you speak of him makes it seem as if you knew him well. But perhaps you did not like him, as you seem relieved he is dead.”  
“It’s because he was the warrior.”  
Gregor whips around to see Luxa sliding off of Aurora’s back, a grim look on her face.  
“Phobos, understand this: Gregor was the warrior. The warrior died in that cave with Ares. He did not see the end of the war. Gregor lived. Gregor went back to the Overland, and continued on with his life. Be careful about mentioning the warrior. Just because he was a hero does not mean he did not have his own share of suffering.”  
Phobos’ wings flutter, as he looks from Luxa to Gregor. “So you are here to get better from being the warrior.”  
Gregor sighs tiredly, rubbing a hand across his face. “Sure. Yeah. That’s why I’m here. Listen, I’m tired. I’m going to go take a nap or something.”  
Luxa nods, and Phobos flaps towards Aurora, who looks up to greet him. They were probably already talking in their own language.  
He starts walking back to his room, and realizes Luxa is following him.  
“What?”  
“I should have asked if you were okay with Phobos knowing that you were the warrior.”  
“It’s fine, Luxa. I’m sure he would’ve figured it out eventually.”  
“Maybe, maybe not.”  
They stop in front of Gregor’s room.  
“Gregor, I know my actions may not reflect it, but I missed you.”  
“I missed you too.”  
“I still have the photograph you gave me. From the dance.”  
Gregor can't help the smile. “I’ve still got mine, too. We looked really young back then.”  
“Yes.”  
The silence that descends is awkward, and Gregor clears his throat quickly. “Alright! I’m gonna take a nap, so, uh...see you later, I guess.”  
“I will send someone to wake you for dinner if you haven't woken yet.”  
“Thanks.”  
She smiles and gives his hand a squeeze, before turning and going back down the hallway. 

##

Eli walked up to the house, feeling like he might be sick. How was he supposed to tell Gregor’s parents that he had taken him back? After he didn't even have permission to go? He raises his hand to knock, but takes it down after another moment. It was late. They were probably already asleep. He turned to go back to the car, before turning back. But they would probably be up worrying. And Eli had all the answers. Eli blew out a breath, steeling himself as he finally raps against the door.  
“OK, Eli. This is fine,” he mumbles to himself. “Just tell them Gregor had business in the Underland, and that he was getting what his mom said to get. Whatever that means…”  
The door flings open and a young looking girl stares up at him.  
“You’re not Gregor.”  
“No. Who are you?”  
“Lizzie. I’m Gregor’s sister. Who are you?”  
“I’m Eli. I need to talk to your parents.”  
She gives him a look over, pursing her lips. “About what?”  
“The Underland.”  
She pales, and Eli thinks maybe she starts breathing a bit too quickly, but she turns and motions him in. The door shuts behind him, sealing the cold behind him. 

“Lizzie? Who was it?”  
They walk into the kitchen, where three adults are sitting at the kitchen table, untouched cups of coffee in front of them. The woman looks up as they come in, and gives a hesitant smile.  
“Lizzie?”  
“He says his names Eli. That he needs to talk to you about the Underland.”  
The woman's smile vanishes, and she stands abruptly, grabbing Lizzie and reeling her towards herself. “Are you one of them?”  
“No. But Gregor--”  
At his name one of the other men seems to wilt, while the other one simply rests a hand on his shoulder.  
“What about him?” The woman demands.  
“Is his mom here?”  
“That would be me. Call me Grace.”  
“Uh, okay. He said that he has to stay down there for a while. He said to tell you that he was doing what you wanted to do.”  
Her eyes well up with tears, and Lizzie looks up at her mom, worry written across her face.  
“Mom?”  
The man who must’ve been Gregors uncle reaches across the table while Grace sits back down. “He’s okay, Grace.”  
“But he just left! He didn't say anything! Just packed a bag and went to New York with this boy we’ve never even met before!” She rounds on Eli next, and Eli once again finds himself wishing he could’ve just never come. “And you! You kidnapped my child!”  
“No, I didn’t! I asked him to come with me!”  
Everyone is silent, and the weaker looking man raises a hand slowly. “You said you asked him to take you?”  
“Yes. He thought I had a cousin down there. I said I wanted to meet him and I asked him if he would take me there so I could see him.”  
Grace looks to Gregor’s dad, frowning.  
“Who was it?” Lizzie asks.  
“His name was Hazard.”  
Lizzie’s eyes widen a little bit, and she smiles. “Oh! Hazard! How is he? Boots should--”  
Grace’s hand on her shoulder quiets her.  
“Sit down and tell me everything that happened.”

##

He’s fighting the Bane again, which isn't unusual. What’s unusual is Ares’ body below him as he flys overtop on Phobos’ back. He knows what’s coming, and even though it’s a different flier, he can't do anything to stop it as Phobos’ throat is ripped out, and Gregor is clawed across his chest. He crawls towards Phobos, but it seems like as soon as he makes it an inch further, Phobos moves a foot away. As he gets closer, the blood bubbling from Phobos’ neck and Gregors wounds mingle, and the smell is suffocating. Gregor lets himself relax as soon as he touches Phobos’ fur. He knows he’s saying something, but he can't remember what, and besides, the Banes tail is whacking his side which makes it hard to focus and--

“Wake up! Up! Let’s go or I’ll send you into the Deadlands for intensive training!”  
Gregor opens his eyes, withholding a shriek as Ripred’s face appears. He instead struggles up and shoves Ripred’s tail off his chest.  
“Get off me!”  
Ripred flicks a paw and withdraws his tail, looking to his side.  
“There you go. He’s up.”  
Gregor turns and sees Luxa standing just behind Ripred, and he chokes on his next breath. “Oh my god. Why are you here?”  
“Someone had come to wake you, but they said you weren’t responding.”  
Ripred gives her a look, then squints his eyes at Gregor. “And that you were crying! That part made your Queen come running. After she got me, of course.”  
“I did not come running!” Luxa interjects.  
“Right, right. Sorry. She was walking very fast though.”  
Luxa looks embarrassed, but doesn't say anything to contradict him this time.  
“I was worried,” she says quietly.  
“Oh.” Gregor says. “Sorry. It happens a lot. Nothing to worry about.”  
This has the opposite effect Gregor was hoping for, and she looks more panicked. “This happens often? Gregor, that is not good. I’m sure there’s a medicine or something we could get for you to help ease the symptoms of whatever it is.”  
“My dear Queen,” Ripred says with a chuckle, “He’s not sick. He’s having nightmares. The only thing you could do is give him sleeping medicine to knock him out. I don't know if that would even work though.”  
“See? I’m alright,” Gregor says, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. “All good. It’s time to eat, right? Let’s go. I’m starving.”  
Luxa doesn't look happy about it, and sighs, turning to leave. Ripred follows a moment later, his tail flicking in annoyance. Gregor waits until they’re gone before digging his notebook out from his bag, along with his pencil. He jots down his dream, wondering why Phobos had made an appearance. Maybe because he was the last flier Gregor had ridden with. Wouldn't it just be his luck if Phobos died with him. Gregor sniffs hard, and blinks against the incoming feeling of tears. Phobos wasn't going to die. And why did Gregor care so much? It’s not like Phobos was Ares. Thinking of Ares is making him spiral, so he finishes his entry quickly, and stuffs the notebook back in his bag. Grabbing the woven sandals sitting by his bed, he slips them on, and goes to find Luxa and Ripred.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ty for reading! and thank you all for the comments, you guys are so nice omg


	7. ben reappears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gregor meets someone he doesnt care for. ben is nosy.

After nearly a week with the various lessons, Gregor still felt like nothing was changing. He told Luxa about it, and she said that it would just take time. Ripred said something along the same lines, though him saying it was less of a comfort. He ended up spending a lot of time in the prophecy room, with the torches out, practicing his echolocation. He was getting better at it. He still couldn't do it as well as before, but he was on his way to it. He could even start to make out letters and words from the carvings. Fighting with echolocation was less successful. He couldn't use his breathing for it yet, and he kept forgetting to click his tongue or make noise. Both Ripred and Gregor were getting frustrated with it. 

****

“If you can't start making noise I’ll attach a bell to your wrist and you can jingle like some palace pet!” 

Gregor growls in frustration, throwing his sword down. It clangs as it hits the ground, making Gregor wince. Ripred is up in his face a moment later, a claw digging into his chest. 

“You’re not allowed to give up, boy. You wanted to get better? Here’s your price!”

“This isn't  _ working _ !” Gregor says, exasperated. 

“‘This isn't working!’” Ripred mocks, his voice rising to a falsetto. “Then  _ make  _ it work!” He snaps. 

“I don't know how!”

Ripred’s tail whips around to hit Gregor, but Gregor stumbles back quickly. 

“Just  _ stop! _ ” Gregor says. “I’m done for today.”

Ripred lets him go, but he gets the last word. “You’re giving up.” He calls after him. 

And maybe he was. So what? So what? 

****

~

****

The wind on his face feels good as he flies along the Waterway, his legs loosely gripping Phobos’ sides. 

“He only wants you to recover, Gregor.”

“I know. But he just--I don't think he’s going about it the right way.”

“And what would the right way be?”

“I don't know. Not  _ this  _ though.”

Phobos is quiet for a couple beats, before sighing. “I wish I could be of more help, Overlander. I do not enjoy seeing you upset.”

“Thanks, Phobos.”

“Should we head back?” He asks. 

Gregor shrugs, and lets himself fall forwards to lay on Phobos’ back. “Can we fly a little longer?”

“Yes.”

They go on in comfortable silence, until Phobos turns to head back. 

“Queen Luxa cares for you.”

Gregor grunts in agreement, pushing himself up to sit. “Yeah. She was one of the first people I met down here. She didn't like me at first. Of course, Henry was still alive then.”

“Queen Luxa’s cousin. The traitor.”

“Yeah. That was the first prophecy I was a part of.”

“That is when Ares became an outcast.”

“Yeah. I made him my bond to keep him from being exiled.” 

“That was very brave.”

“I guess. He was…”

Gregor wasn't sure what to say that would encapsulate everything that Ares had been. 

“He was perfect.”

Phobos doesn't reply to this. 

“Have you ever considered bonding to another?” Phobos asks. 

Gregor startles, looking down at Phobos in surprise, even though he can't see it. 

“Is that even allowed?”

Phobos nods. “Though it doesn't often happen. You were Ares’ second bond.”

Gregor hadn't even thought about that. 

“Why doesn't it happen that much?”

“Often if the flier is the survivor, they are shunned, because they are supposed to be able to protect their bond. If it is the flier who dies, as bonds are only broken upon death, the human may…” he trails off, as if not sure how to put it. “They often start to lose their minds. They go crazy with grief. A human cannot do as much as a bat to protect their bond.”

Gregor thought of Howard and Pandora. How Mareth had to knock Howard out to keep him from trying to go after Pandora, even though she had been gone. 

“Oh. That doesn't happen often, does it?”

“No,” Phobos says. “Bonded pairs are good at protecting each other.”

He thought of Ares and wanted to deny it. But then again--most pairs wouldn't be fighting a twelve-foot crazy rat dead set on killing them. Thinking of the Bane made him think of the dream where he had been fighting alongside Phobos instead of Ares. He still wasn't sure what to make of it. 

“We are nearly there, Overlander.”

He pushed it from his mind. 

****

~

****

He sat on the bed, scratching down everything that had happened today and within the past couple days. He hadn't been able to write for a while. It felt good to be able to write everything down, even if it seemed (and was) repetitive. A guard poked their head into Gregor’s room, nearly scaring him half to death. 

“You’re being called for dinner.”

“Okay.” He squeaks. 

The head pops back out, and Gregor forces himself to relax. It was just startling. He was okay. Swinging his legs over the edge of the bed, he slips his sandals on, and stuffs his notebook into his backpack. 

****

When he walked out, the guard gave him a look over, before joining him as he walked. 

“You don't need to follow me,” Gregor says. “I know the way.”

“I know, Overlander.” They say. “I apologize. I have not introduced myself. I am Trexton. I only wished to talk to you. I was a guard in training, when the war was happening.”

Gregor didn't want to talk about this, but nodded. “Okay. Cool.”

“I saw you. Before. No one believed me when I said the warrior was back! That you had returned!”

Gregor manages a laugh, evidently surprising Trexton. 

“What is funny, Overlander?”

“I’m not the warrior. Sorry.”

“But...You are. I saw you. You have sisters, yes? Younger? I remember them. I remember everything about the war.”

“The warrior is dead.” Gregor insisted. 

“The warrior never died, Overlander. He lives. No one has forgotten him. People may have forgotten who he was, but he never died.”

Gregor feels slightly sick. He just wanted this to go away. 

“That's great, Trexton,” He says weakly, “Listen, I’m meeting Luxa and everyone for dinner. So…”

Trexton gave a smile and nodded. “Of course, warrior.”

“Don't call me that.” He hoped he sounded commanding, but he couldn't quite hide the quaver in his voice. 

Gregor sped up, leaving Trexton behind. He didn't want to talk about the warrior or the war. He wanted to get better and forget about it.

“Gregor!”

He looks up to see Howard, and can't stop the smile that breaks across his face. 

“Howard! How are you?”

“I am well. You look much older. It has been a couple of years now.”

“Yeah. It's been a while. Are you still working in the hospital here?”

His face brightens as he nods. “Yes. It is very enjoyable. I still feel as though I am learning new things every day. And we’re working on new cures for diseases and sicknesses.”

“That's great, Howard.”

He smiles, gesturing towards Gregor. “And you? How have you been? Why are you here?”

“I’ve been alright. I’m just here on personal business. Have some stuff I need to get done.”

“Ah. I hope it all goes well.”

“It is. I’ve made some progress I think.”

Howard gives him a clap on the shoulder and grins. “Very good! I have to get back to the hospital to do checkups, but I hope I will see you later.”

“Yeah, me too, Howard.”

Howard gives a wave as he walks away which Gregor returns, before continuing to the dining room. 

****

~

****

Luxa and Hazard are already there when Gregor walks in. He gives them both a smile, before sitting down next to Luxa. He taps Luxa’s arm, and she turns to him, looking curious. 

“What?”   
“I was walking down and a guard started talking to me about the warrior. Said he was still alive. Said that--” He breaks off, trying to slow his breathing down. Nothing would come out of being panicky. “Said that people still like, remember him and stuff. He knew about my  _ sisters _ . He called me it.”

Luxa’s hand rests on his shoulder, and he relaxes almost immediately. Luxa was safe. She ducked her head slightly and looked him in the eyes, something fierce flickering behind her eyes.  

“The warrior is dead. You killed him. You made sure he perished, and could not come back.”

“I-I know. But I just...What if there’s another prophecy? I couldn't do that--I  _ won’t _ \--”

“It’s only dinner and you’re already having a nervous breakdown about something? At least wait until I’ve had something to eat.”   
Gregor looks up to Ripred who saunters to his seat, sitting down rather ungracefully. He lets out a loud sigh, reaching for a fish on a platter. As he pulls it towards himself, he gives Gregor an appraising look. 

“At least you have issues with people calling you that. I’ve met other people who enjoy some of the names they get.”

“I do not think they had a prophecized name, Ripred.” Luxa says stiffly. 

“No. They didn't. But I think the sentiment is the same. A horrible name brought upon them by their actions.”

“I got the stupid name before I did anything,” Gregor grumbled. 

“Close enough,” Ripred said. “Who was this, anyway? The guard.”

“He said his name was Trexton.”   
Ripred shrugs. “I haven't heard of him.”

Luxa shakes her head, giving a brief smile, “I do not know him by name either, Gregor. But I can talk with the head guard and assign him somewhere else if you wish.”   
“No, it’s...it’s okay. It just kinda surprised me.”   
Luxa pauses, as if she was about to say something else, but presses her mouth shut, and turns back to her food. She would tell him later. 

****

##

****

Gregor was missing. Ben wasn't  _ worried,  _ or anything. It’s not like they were close or anything. It was just that PE was getting boring, and--okay. He missed him.  _ And  _ he was worried. He had been gone for weeks, and the teachers had no idea where he’d gone. They said he was sick, but Ben knew something was up. Gregor wouldn't skip school. Probably. Or maybe he would! Ben barely knew the kid! Which is also why he found himself at the front office on a Friday afternoon, trying to come up with an excuse to get Gregor’s address to visit him. 

“I need to give him homework.”

Mrs. O’Neil gave him a doubtful look, but in all fairness, this Gregor kid had dropped off the map. So she gave it to him. 

“Don’t go around spreading his address, Ben.”

“Mrs. O’Neil, I would never do that! I’m offended.”

She gives him a doubtful look, and he smiles, backing away until he reaches the doorway. 

“Thanks! Bye!” He raises the hand with the paper in farewell, not looking back as he runs out of the office. 

~

“I can't believe he has...the _ audacity  _ to live on a farm…” Ben grumbles, adjusting his backpack once again. He had spent the past fifteen minutes trudging along the road, freezing his ass off trying to get to Gregor’s house. His phones service cut out halfway from town, so now he was stuck hoping he hadn't missed a turn. Headlights broke through the gray air, the sound of tires on gravel soon following. A car rolled up next to him, and Ben gave it a look before he kept walking. The car followed. He heard the window roll down before a voice called out. 

“Are you going to the Campbells?”   
Ben turns slowly, squinting at the man behind the wheel. “Yes?”

The car engine cut off, and the man--or rather boy (he didn't look much older than Ben)--stepped from the car. 

“I’m Eli. I’m going there too. Do you want a lift?”   
“I don't know you, dude.”

“You’ve got at least another five minutes on this road. Are you going to visit Gregor?”   
“Yes. Well, no.”   
Eli hesitates, wondering if he knew. Why would he come to his house if he knew, though?   
“I mean,” Ben continues, “I’m going to see if he’s home. He hasn't been at school for like, weeks. And I have homework for him.”

“Why don't you get in. I’ll take you. I’m sure Mr. and Mrs. Campbell will be able to clear up any questions.”   
Ben frowns, but walks with Eli to the car. “Questions? Why would I have questions? I mean, I’m gonna make sure he didn't die or somethin’, but other than that I don't care much.”

“Oh. Ok.”

Ben climbs into the back seat, behind Eli, relieved that the car  _ was _ in fact, quite warm. 

“Seatbelt.”   
“You said it’s not that far away.”

“Fine,” Eli says, turning the key, “If you die, not my problem.”   
~

“ _ This  _ is where he lives?”

“What were you expecting?”   
“Something more...farmy.”   
Eli sighs and tugs his coat tighter around himself. “Then you are wrong.”   
Ben follows Eli up to the door, nearly tripping on a clutter of boots near the door. “God, how many people live here?”   
“I don't know. At least six.”   
“Christ.”   
Ben watches Eli as he rings the doorbell, then turns to look out at the yard. Nothing remarkable. 

A gust of warm air causes him to turn, and he’s greeted with a young girl who looks solemnly up at him.    
“Who are you?”   
“Lizzie,” Eli says, “This is...uh…”

“I’m Ben,” Ben says. 

The girl--Lizzie--gives an annoyed look to Eli. “You brought a random stranger with you to my house? What, did you let him in your car too?”   
“Alright, Lizzie!” Eli says, laughing awkwardly, “Let’s not judge too harshly here. Ben, come on. Shut the door behind you.”   
Ben follows the directions, shutting out the cold air as he steps into the cramped hallway. He mimics Eli and kicks off his boots, shedding his various layers as well. 

“So, uh, Lizzie,” he starts, “Where’s Gregor?”   
Lizzie purses her lips and turns away from him, walking down into what looked like the kitchen. Eli gives him a sympathetic look and a shrug, following after Lizzie. 

“Gregor’s kinda...missing, right now,” Eli says quietly. 

Ben stops, staring at him. “You’re shitting me.”

“No, I’m not. And no language around Lizzie or Boots.”   
“Around...the shoes…”

Eli smiles, shaking his head. “Boots is a person. Come on.”   
Finally making it to the kitchen, Ben sees Lizzie at the stove with a kettle in hand. 

“I hope you drink tea cause that’s all we have right now.”   
“Tea’s fine, thanks. Where’s Gregor?”   
Lizzie turns away back to the stove, and Ben finds himself on the verge of picking her up and shaking the answers out of her before she finally answers. 

“He’s somewhere else right now. Are you his friend?”   
Ben hesitates as he sits at the table, watching as an older man walks into the kitchen. He gives Ben and Eli a little wave, walking over to Lizzie to press a kiss to the top of her head before grabbing a cup of water and leaving.

“Yes,” Ben says. 

“What all has he told you about himself?”

“I mean, we’re kinda new friends, so I’m working on getting all that stuff outta him, but I know about the car accident--”

He stops at Lizzie’s snort and frowns. “Hey. It’s not funny.”

“I know,” she says, “What else did he tell you?”   
“I-I don't know! I mean he mostly sits and writes in that notebook of his and he’s pretty much always spaced out!”

“So you know basically nothing. Alright. That makes my job harder.”   
“...What?”

She pours the boiling water into three mugs, bringing them over to the table along with a small tin of tea.

“How open are you to outlandish things?” She asks.

“Pretty open, I guess. Why? Are you gonna tell me Gregor got like, abducted by aliens or something?”   
“Mm...no. I guess it’s best to start at the beginning. So, around four years ago, we used to live in New York…”

~

Ben stared down at his tea, trying to process everything he had been told. Most of which made no sense. But it must have  _ some  _ sense because even Eli was adding little points in once he had joined the story. They both stared expectantly at him now, waiting for his reply. He took another gulp of now cold tea, trying not to cringe at the taste. Ben didn't drink tea, but he hadn't wanted to be rude and refuse the offer. 

“So he's down...there?”

“The Underland, yes,” Lizzie said, almost impatiently, like she couldn't believe he wasn't caught up already. 

“Ok, hold on. So you're telling me he  _ wasn't  _ in a car crash?”

Eli laughs, shaking his head. “Is that the part you're hung up on?”

“He told everyone it was a car accident!” 

“People lie all the time, dude,” Eli says, “Did you actually believe it was a car accident?”

Ben glances between Lizzie and Eli, before shrugging slightly. “I-I mean I guess not. Sometimes he made like, offhand comments about injuries about it, but I just assumed it was about the accident. I don't know, man! This is crazy!”

Lizzie smiles sympathetically, cradling her tea in her hands. “I know. It was crazy going through it.”

Ben hadn't thought about that, and now he definitely felt awful. 

“Shit--I’m sorry, kid. but I just, I don't know. I guess I don't have a chance to believe you, do I?”

She shrugs, “It's really up to you. And it's kinda Eli’s fault you thought anything was wrong to begin with.”

Eli smiles sheepishly, shrugging. “My bad? I thought you were coming cause you already had an idea.”

Pushing the teacup aside, Ben rakes a hand through his hair, loosing a heavy sigh. “Ok. Ok! I guess I believe it. When is he gonna be back? Can we get him?”

“Get him?” Eli asks, “Dude, we can't go get him. He sent me back so that he could do whatever it is he needed to do.”

“Bullshit.” 

Lizzie looks offended, her hands tightening around her mug. “ _ Excuse  _ me?” 

“Language, Ben.” Eli chides. 

“Sorry. But there's no way he wants that!”

“Ben, you barely  _ know  _ Gregor,” Lizzie says, though Ben thinks she sounds almost...sad.

“I’ll go.” Ben insists. “I’ll go and bring him back.”

Lizzie purses her lips, giving Eli a sideways look. 

He only groans, and rubs at his eyes. “I’m gonna need to drive again, aren't I?”

Lizzie smiles, and Ben can't help but think it fits her better than the painfully serious look that had been on her face before. “Please, Eli? If it gets Gregor back…”

Eli pauses, making a frustrated sound, before nodding. “Fine. Fine. Ben when can you go? Let’s get him back.”

“Really? I can go now. Let's go.”

“Not now. We can go tomorrow if you want. What about your parents?” 

Ben hesitates, before shrugging with a smile. “They won't care.”

Eli shakes his head, “I need to know it's okay so that we don't have another Gregor incident.”

“Listen, man, they don't care, okay? They won't notice if I’m gone.”

Eli’s face pales slightly, and he finds a sudden interest in his mug. “Oh. Okay. Uh, meet me at the bookstore on Main, then, at seven.”

“In the morning?”

“Yeah,  _ in the morning _ . It takes a while to get there.”

“Fine. See you then.”

“Ah, don't wear clothes you particularly like,” Lizzie says hurriedly. “They'll probably burn them.”

Ben stares blankly at her. “They're gonna  _ what _ .”

Eli shakes his head. “They let me keep my stuff. Disregard. Just dress warm. Bring some food and money.”

“Ok. Sure.”

“See you tomorrow, then?”

Ben nods, sealing his fate. “See you tomorrow.” ****  
** **

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yikes sorry folks this was supposed to come out like three weeks ago. ended up cutting it short cause i couldnt get it going how i wanted so im splitting it up.


	8. everyones together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gregor comes back into the picture

“I’m so stupid,” Ben grumbles. “Seven in the morning!” he says in a mocking voice, kicking at a rock. “Seven in the morning my ass it's freezing.”   
Still grumbling and groaning to himself, he comes up on the bookstore and pushes the door open to walk into blessed warmth.   
He calls out hesitantly, looking around the dim shop. “Eli…? You there, dude?”  
There was clattering from the stairs, and Eli came bounding down, a bright smile on his face.   
“Ben! You're here! Cool, let me grab the keys and we can go. You need to go to the bathroom before we leave? ‘Cause I’m not stopping until we need gas.”  
“How much do you have?”   
“Full tank.”  
“...Yeah. Where is it?”  
“Down there, on the left,” Eli says, pointing down a hallway.   
Ben follows his directives, returning once he had taken care of business.   
“Alright. Let’s get this show on the road, shall we?”  
Eli mumbles something Ben can't catch, and walks towards another hallway, motioning for Ben to follow. Ben follows Eli to his car, which has a backpack already thrown in the back seat.   
“Can I put my bag back here?” he asks.   
Eli nods, ducking into the driver's seat, starting the car. “Wherever is fine.”  
“Cool.”  
~  
“Dude, wake up.”  
Ben grumbles something under his breath as he sits up, wincing at the crick in his neck. “Shit…” he mutters, looking to Eli--who was the one who had woken him up.   
“We’re like halfway there. I’m getting gas. You can go take a bathroom break if you need it. I’ll be in once I fill the car up to get food and junk too.”  
“Sounds good.”  
Ben gets out of the car, burrowing his face into his coat, shivering at the sudden chill. 

When Eli walks in, the man working the counter doesn't give him a second glance, and instead turns back to the newspaper in front of him. He finds Ben staring at the snack aisle, his hands stuffed into his pockets.   
“Hey man, find anything you want?”  
Ben looks up at him, somewhat of a forced smile on his face. “Yeah,” he says, reaching out and grabbing a bag of Chex Mix. “This is good. You got anything?”  
“I’ll take a quick look.”  
Ben nods and takes his bag to counter. He sighs as he realizes he made a poor choice. He didn't even like Chex Mix all that much. Whatever. Lamenting about a snack mix was better than worrying about Gregor.   
Eli steps up next to him, dropping his bag of chips next to Ben’s bag.   
“You good?”  
Ben nods, stuffing his hands back into his pockets. Pockets were good. Pockets could hide shakiness and gave him a casual look wherever he went.   
“I’m good.”

#

When they finally made it, Eli managed to find parking, and then they caught a cab to the park. Ben realized just a little too late that he was blindly following Eli, and that he didn't actually know where they were going. But Eli seemed confident enough, so he decided why not, for the time being.   
“I need your help to move the rock.”  
“The rock?”  
Ben’s line of vision cleared, and he saw it. “Oh. The rock. Okay.”  
Eli snorts a laugh, wrapping his scarf tighter around his neck. “Yeah. I got a crowbar so it shouldn't be too bad.”  
“Neat.”  
Eli slipped his bag off his shoulder and took the crowbar out, wedging it into a crack by the entrance.   
“Come help push.”  
Stepping closer to the entrance, Ben lodged his shoulder against the rock and dug his heels in as he started to shove against the rock. After a couple moments, a cracking sound split the air and the rock slid past the opening, sending Ben slipping back.   
“Jesus--!”  
Eli smiled as he offered a hand to help him up, heaving Ben back to his feet.   
“Sorry. Didn't think it would go that fast.”  
“Whatever,” Ben grumbles, peering around the rock and into the black opening. “Are we gonna go in?”  
“Yeah. Here, take this.”  
Accepting the flashlight Eli offers him, he adjusts his backpack straps and steps into the darkness. Eli follows, sliding the rock back into place behind them.   
“Let’s go.”  
~  
Once Eli recognized the change from concrete to stone, he stopped, and reached into his bag to get the notebook and pen to write the note.   
“How are we gonna let him know we’re here?”  
Eli waved the notebook at him, before crouching down and propping the flashlight in the crook between his neck and shoulder as he began to write.   
Gregor-  
It’s Eli. Ben’s here with me. He came to get you back or something. Hopefully this reaches you. 

He folds up the slip of paper into eighths, putting the notebook and pen back into his backpack.   
“Alright. Tell me if you see a cockroach or something.”  
Ben stares at him, starting to question his sanity.   
“Excuse me?”  
“I thought I mentioned this. The cockroaches from the Overland can communicate with the Underland cockroaches. If I can get them to take it to the cockroaches that are connected to Gregor, he’ll probably come.”  
Ben gives him a worried look, pressing his lips together. “Probably.”  
“Look, man, I’m trying.”  
“Fine. OKay. Sorry.”  
“There’s one!” Eli exclaims, pointing to a cockroach that skittered by his feet. He dropped the paper in front of it, and it stopped, waving its antennae at it as if in confusion.   
“Can you take that to the Underland cockroaches?”  
The bug doesn't respond, and for a second Eli thinks it’s going to ignore it. But then it wriggles underneath the paper and scuttles off.   
Ben stares at Eli, who stares right back.   
“I honestly can’t believe that worked,” Eli says with a breathy laugh.   
“That was weird as shit, dude.”  
Ben sighs, slumping down next to Eli on the ground. “This is crazy. I know I’ve said it before but I’m gonna keep saying it because I’m right.”  
“You are,” Eli agrees, placing his bag between his legs. “I handled all this a lot worse than you. Well, you haven't actually met any of the Underland creatures yet, so I guess we’ll see.”   
He laughs, slipping his hands into his coat pockets. “Man, Gregor was so pissed when I was down here. I was having like, a crisis and he told me to shut up.”  
“Christ.”  
“In my defense, a cockroach the size of a horse had just started talking to me.”  
“I think I would probably like, cry.”  
“Nah, I mean, yeah, it’s super surprising at first, but you get used to it real quick.”  
Something scrambles over Ben’s foot, and he shudders, peeking to see what it was. A rat. It looked like a normal rat, though it held a piece of paper in its teeth. It stared at him for a moment, before dropping the paper besides his shoe, and backing away, starting to groom itself.   
Eli looked to Ben, who swallowed and picked the paper up.   
“This better not get me sick,” he says softly.   
The paper unfolds easily, revealing Gregor’s messy handwriting.   
Eli, take Ben and go back. He can't be here. Ripred would kill him. Go.   
Ben stares at the paper, re-reading the fifteen words that looked back up at him. Ripred was the rat. Gregor said he would kill him.   
“Hey, Eli. So maybe this wasn't the best idea! We should definitely head back!”  
Eli stretches over to read the note, before scoffing. “He’s bluffing. Ripred is nice. Ish. He’s nice-ish. He won't kill you without good reason.”  
“What kind of reasoning does a rat have, Eli?”  
Eli shrugs, taking the note back and digging his pen out. Ben can't see what he writes in reply, but the rat has it a moment later and runs away.   
“Are we leaving?” Ben asks carefully.   
“Hell no,” Eli scoffs. “We already came all the way here. Plus, I miss Hazard. He’s a sweet kid.”  
“Alright then. I guess we wait.”

~

They hadn't been waiting long when claws on the stone alerted them to another presence. Ripred stuck his nose out into the flashlight beam, grinning down at Ben and Eli. To Ben’s credit, he didn't cry. To Eli’s credit, he stepped forward and gave Ripred a pat on the shoulder, which someone with greater common sense would not have done.   
But Ripred only bared his teeth in a smile and gave Ben a look over. “Brought me a fresh meal, Overlander?”  
Ben wilts against the wall, while Eli laughs. Ben doesn't find the situation amusing, but he wasn't in the state to argue.   
“Of course not. You saw the note, yes?”  
“Yes. Gregor sent a response as well.”  
“Then why are you here?”  
Ripred swished his tail, smacking it against the wall, flattening his ears slightly. “To bring you to him, of course. That dumbass wouldn't accept help even if he was about to get eaten alive. Plus, there’s a bit of a situation, and me and the princess can’t keep a constant eye on him.”  
Ben manages to find his voice and clears his throat before speaking. “What kind of situation?”  
“I wouldn't be able to make a comparison that would make sense to you, but let’s say there's a group of people who want Gregor to be someone he’s not. And they may not stop until they get what they want?”  
“The, uh, the Warrior?”  
Ripred cocks his head slightly, sitting back on his haunches. “Eli has told you about these matters, I see.”  
“A bit. Lizzie told me most of everything else though.”  
“Ah. Lizzie.”  
Ben couldn't be sure, but he thought he saw the rat's shoulders droop slightly at her name.   
“Regardless, let’s go.”  
“Do we get to fly on the bats?” Ben asks, finding himself somewhat excited.   
“No, you’ll ride on my back.”  
Ben glances to Eli, grabbing his backpack straps tightly. “What?”  
Ripred flicks his tail and whacks Ben’s shins, giving what might have been a laugh. “Like I would let you ride on my back. Of course you’ll ride a Flyer.”  
“Of course. My bad.”   
Ripred flicks an annoyed look over his shoulder, and then starts leading them down the hallway.   
“Did you get Caerus to come?” Eli asks Ripred, jogging to keep up.   
Ripred doesn't reply and instead pulls up short at an opening.   
“What’s that?” Ben asked.   
“The opening to the Waterway,” Ripred said.   
“Oh.”  
A bat’s face pops out from the shadows and Ben stumbles back, a scream strangled in his throat. A grin breaks out across Eli’s face and he runs towards the bat. “Caerus!”  
The bat chirped something to Eli, and Eli dropped down into the opening. Ben nearly screamed again, until Eli reappeared moments later on the bat’s back.   
“Come on! They’re really nice, so don't worry, Ben.”  
“What about you?” Ben asked Ripred.   
Ripred gave him an irritated look, swishing his tail. “I have my own ways to get about. Not everyone is dependent on the Flyers like the humans are.”  
Ben nods, looking out over the drop. A silvery bat without a rider was making circles and looked up once Ben entered the opening.   
“Hello, Overlander.”  
“Hi. I’m Ben.”  
“I am Orbona.”  
Orbona flew closer to the opening, until Ben could easily drop down onto their back. He did so very, very carefully.   
“Ben, she won't drop you!”  
Ben felt his cheeks flush, and gave Eli a rude gesture. “I know that! Just give me a second!”  
Finally gathering up his courage, Ben dropped down onto Orbona’s back, and immediately grabbed on tightly.   
“You do not need to hold so tight, Overlander,” she purred.   
“Sorry…” Ben muttered, loosening his grip.   
“I’ll meet you there,” Ripred said to them, turning and vanishing from sight.   
“Ben, turn your flashlight off.”   
Ben stares at Eli--or rather, where he thinks Eli is by the sound of his voice--and shakes his head.   
“Why?”  
“Because the bats don't need it, and you won't need it cause you’re not doing anything. Save the battery.”  
Ben looked down to the flowing flashlight in his hand, then sighed, and clicked it off, sending the world into complete darkness.   
“I don't like this,” Ben said.   
“You’ll get used to it,” Eli said, somewhere off to Ben’s left.   
“Are you ready, Overlander?”  
“Y-yeah? I guess…”  
Without another word, Orbona shot off into the darkness, eliciting a scream from Ben. He hunched over her back, gripping the fur as they flew through the darkness, trying to calm himself down.   
“It’s fun, isn't it?” Eli called out.   
“If you think this is fun,” Ben started, “There’s something seriously wrong with you!”  
Eli only laughs, letting himself carefully lay back on Caerus’ back.   
~  
The city is lit up when they arrive, and Ben can’t help but stare. Ben wasn't much one to comment on looks. On whether something was pretty or cute but--  
“It’s beautiful…” he whispers.   
“It is.” Orbona agrees.   
He looks down at the city as they fly overhead, seeing the occasional person walking by down below. They passed one or two other bats leaving the palace, both without riders, but they seemed to give Orbona a greeting, even though Ben couldn't hear it. 

When they landed in the High Hall, Eli jumped from Caerus’ back and stepped to his front to talk to him. Somehow, Ripred was already there.  
“You finally get here.” He says.  
Ben crosses his arms, squinting at the rat. “Where’s Gregor?”  
“On his way. He’s royally pissed off though, so I’d watch out a bit. His temper is still pretty nasty.”  
“Gregor’s never had a--”  
“What the hell are you doing here?”  
Maybe he did have a temper. But, Ben thinks, he looks better.   
“I was worried about you.”  
Gregor gives him an incredulous look, shaking his head. “Worried? We’re not--we’re barely even friends!”  
Ouch. Ben stiffens, fighting to keep himself calm. “I-I...It’s been weeks! You weren't in school and I just...I was worried about you. So I went to your house and met Eli and...everything else.”  
Gregor leveled a glare to Eli, who held his hands up in surrender, a crooked smile on his face.  
“Hey man. Sorry. There was a bit of a misunderstanding about how much he actually knew.”  
“How could there have been a misunderstanding? Nothing! He knew nothing!”  
“Gregor, I just--”  
“No. Shut up. I’ll talk to you when I get back cause you have to leave right now.”  
Ben stares at him for a moment, before scoffing. “What? No way. I came all the way here, on a terrifying flight--” he turned to Orbona and offered a smile, “No offense. And,” he continues, “You expect me to turn around and go right back the moment you throw a hissy fit? The Underland isn’t yours, Gregor.”  
“Obviously not,” Gregor says, tugging at the hem of his shirt, “It belongs to the creatures that live in the Underland.”  
“Exactly,” Ben says, giving a triumphant huff. “I may not have stumbled across the Underland like you did, but there’s nothing saying that I can't be here.”  
Gregor mashes his lips together, knowing Ben was right, but being too stubborn to admit it. Ripred finally decided to cut in, having had his fill of angst from the two boys.  
“Now that that’s out of the way, how about we get down to why I let the Overlander come, yes?”  
“My name’s Ben.”  
Ripred ignored him, and continued talking. “Now Gregor, you’re going to listen to me before you throw a fit, because I know you will. I have decided to let your friends stay here to look after you.”  
Gregor straightened up, eyes firey with indignation. “They will no--”  
Ripred slashed his tail at Gregor’s feet, narrowing his eyes. “Silence, pup. I didn't ask for your opinion on the matter.”  
Gregor crossed his arms and seethed silently, scuffing his foot against the floor.   
“Your friends will stay here until we can figure out what’s happening with the group that’s ah--after your dead alter ego. We’ll keep working, but otherwise, you’ll have them with you. That should help with the group approaching you.”  
“Are you done?” Gregor asked.   
Ripred gave a pause, as if thinking. “Mhm. Yeah. I think so.”  
“Great!” Gregor uncrossed his arms, letting them fall to his sides where he clenched his fists. “That’s not happening. I don't need watchmen. I said I would go along with your ‘helping’, and I have. So just leave me alone.”  
“No. Get used to it, pup.”  
All Ben could do is give Eli a helpless look, who only shrugged in answer. He barely knew Riped, but already knew this was how the rat was. You didn't argue with a giant rat who could kill you. It simply wasn't something to be done. 

~

“Gregor, dude, I didn’t know--”  
“Yeah, Ben. I know.”  
He sounds tired, Ben thinks.  
“How do you even tell time down here?”  
Gregor shrugs, pushing the food around on his plate. Ben and Eli had already bathed and changed into normal Underland clothing, and they were all now sat in Gregor’s room around a table, eating food from a cart that had been brought in.   
“I dunno. Most of the time I’ve been down here I wasn't really in Regalia. I guess they’ve got a system but no one told me about it.”  
“Oh. Cool.”  
Ben turns back to his food, suffocating in the awkwardness of the entire situation. He was just glad Eli was here, otherwise Ben thinks he might have gotten ignored completely.   
“So, uh, what was Ripred talking about earlier? The helping?”  
Gregor looks up from the fish he was about to take a bite from, narrowing his eyes. “None of your business.”  
“Geez,” Ben mumbles, “Sorry I asked.”  
“What’s up with the whole group thing?” Eli asked, setting his fork down. “What was Ripred talking about?”  
“Oh, yeah,” Ben mumbles, peeking up to Gregor. “What was that about?”  
Gregor only sighs, and rubs at his eyes. “Yeah. Ok. I guess I can talk to you about that. There’s this group that’s after me I guess. They want me to be someone I’m not.”  
“The Warrior, right?”   
Gregor only grimaces, but nods. “Yeah. Him.”  
Ben nods, and goes back to his fish. He had heard enough about him from Lizzie.   
They sit in silence for a couple moments, before Gregor pushes his plate away. Ben thinks he’s going to leave, but he doesn't.   
“They think he’s still alive. That he’s like, dormant or something.”  
An awkward laugh escapes Gregor, as he runs his hand through his hair and he looks away from Eli and Ben.   
Ben gives Eli a questioning look, but Eli only shrugs.   
“You good, Gregor?” Eli asks softly.   
Gregor looks back up to him, his blush apparent even through his darker skin. “Yeah. All good. Just..” he breaks off into nervous laughter, and after a couple of moments, Ben thinks he might be crying. Eli looks incredibly uncomfortable, and clears his throat slightly, pushing his own plate away.   
“You wanna talk or something?”  
Gregor shoots to his feet, wiping at his face, looking determined. “No. I need to find Phobos.”  
“The bat?” Ben asks, “Why do you need to find him?”  
Gregor takes a deep breath, before puffing it out, giving Ben a hesitant smile. “I have a question I need to ask him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was today years old when i realized copying and pasting the writing got rid of italics so i guess that happened ripriprip


End file.
